On being a princess

Being a princess, it’s many little girls’ dream, right? For me, it would be about the dress, the fancy, the luxury, the elegance of it all. The dream of it is how I would feel in the moment. Peace, joy, love, feeling like I matter…the self-worth thing. The princess part is just a bonus, it’s a life of ease, in my story it would be free of conflict, of pain, of anxiety and stress. Don’t we all want that? It might look different to you than it does to me, but it’s still there, it’s the ideal, the perfect life.

But life isn’t perfect.  None of us are perfect…me at the top of the list.  The princess life looks perfect, but I would imagine it’s not, it just looks that way. And so we aspire to something that’s not even real, because the princess is a person, a not perfect person like the rest of us.

And yet, what if we could have our ideal life in spite of ourselves? In spite of our missteps, our mistakes, of the things that make us people, quite honestly.  I think we can, and we can by understanding that we’re not perfect.  That we’re imperfect, that others are imperfect, and we’re all doing the best we can. I believe God made us that way, and He is the only one who is perfect.

So what would it look like, that perfect life of yours? How can you start living it today? What is holding you back?  Well, one thing that holds us back is the past.  All the crap, quite honestly, that has happened in life, that we keep bringing into the present. The pain, resentment, angst… you know, the life you’ve been living.  What good is that doing you today? To get to the life you want today, you have to make a choice to bring forward the lessons, the wisdom, but not the baggage from the past. Too often we recreate the past pain in our heads over and over and it keeps us from the life we want today. So, step one, look at the story book in your mind, if you need to, write the stories down, and then get rid of them. Give them up. They don’t serve you anymore.

Now look at your life today. What feelings do you want to have today? What is going to bring those feelings into your life? Me? I still visualize the princess life. But in my story, the princess isn’t perfect and that’s ok.  Part of being happy in the present is learning to stop judging behaviors, thoughts, actions as right and wrong.  That’s not my job. It’s not any of our jobs. Judgement is about the stuff inside of us, not about other people.  I know for myself, I catch myself judging right and wrong, good and bad. That’s something I’m choosing to ditch.  It’s a lot of work and it doesn’t move me, or my relationships with others, forward. Judging myself is just beats me up.  What good does that do? None. Step two, look at the feelings you want, think about them, pray, meditate about them, and create those in your life.

The glass slipper, the sudden transformation into the princess life? Prince Charming? It’s a story. In our lives, we have to make the choice to bring what we want into our lives.  We create our own stories, our own paths, our own lives. Those paths look different for everyone, and that’s not only ok, it’s awesome.  Create your own story, your own awesomeness. If I can do it, and I’m working on it, you can too. And if you want help, that’s ok too. Sometimes it’s helpful to have someone else be your mirror, to reflect back to you what your inner wisdom already knows. Asking for help is not weakness, it’s strength, it’s a reflection of your desire to create the life you want. If you’re reading this and want that “mirror,” that help, reach out to me, be brave. As a coach, I don’t have the answers, you do, but I can help you discover them and move towards the life you want, that feeling you want, and you can have it today.