Well established at this point is the fact that play is not a part of my regular jam. But October…it makes me want to play all month. Because it’s my birthday. This blog is being published…on my birthday. And if there is no other time than that once a year, it calls for time in play. There are good reasons we need play every day, but it looks differently through the years. We need to find our own play.
It starts young
As a mother myself, I remember the birthday parties I’d plan for my boys. Maybe it was my own penchant for crafts, but usually there was some form of creation as part of the event. We made the cups you color on and bake in the oven to set – a throwback to the plates we used to color and bake. My younger son is a December baby, so one year it was Christmas stockings. There was always cake, the universal sign that it’s your birthday, presents, balloons, and their friends.
I don’t remember my own early soirees, but the days of slumber parties, who could forget that?!? In hindsight, they were little more than a tween’s nightmare. Started off innocently enough, but soon you realized the girls who were farther along in puberty, e.g. generally cooler, and those who were not and hence, not as popular, aka, me. That’s not a sob story, I had plenty of good times, but was the B tier. You know what I mean, the ones who weren’t the most popular, but was friendly with those people. Not the class president, the class secretary…or treasurer.
But those parties were also a source of play. We had games, absurd and not. There were movies and lengthy discussions of boys. Most of all though, despite the early social ranking, there was play – playing/ dreaming of the day we’d be grown up or have a romance. The play allowed us to dream, create, plan.
Play goes sideways
When you’re in college, boy howdy, there’s some freedom there. So, your parties, your birthdays, become an excuse to have excess. Because now you are a grown up and this must be the plan. Can I just say what a dumb plan it was?? Why any college town needs a game night or enticement for kids – ahem, grown-ups – to drink alcohol is beyond me. But they make it easy, particularly on your birthday. Combinations that should be labeled as hazardous do not need to enter the bodies of 21-year-olds. I suppose we thought that was how to play. It is certainly doubtful that we needed that type of play, though it gave us lessons. Samantha’s birthday in Sixteen Candles would have been a better option.
And when you’re turning as old as dirt, you know, 30, you have a blowout. For mine, I wanted to be surrounded by friends and family – both of which came true. We caroused our way around Universal Studios and had a decadent, indulgent, time – earning me the name ‘Princess” for many years amongst those friends. I have several tiaras which attest to that fact.
All grown up
But after a while, the adventure and play of your birthday isn’t such a big deal. We get older and celebrating less appealing. I, for one, have done little to mark my annual ride around the sun for several years. That’s not to say there wasn’t one year I was showered with attention. But not attention I wanted, that was more about the one who did the showering than the one being showered.
And that made me think about a lot of things, which are subjects for other blogs. But relevant to birthday play…
Is it possible that we celebrate others the way we want to be celebrated? Because that same person commented that I’d done ‘nothing’ for a milestone birthday of theirs. In my mind, I’d planned an executed a whole day, but not the same type of day planned for me. The realization was eye opening.
What we think is celebration, what we see as play, is different for all of us. I’m seeking more play, but you or anyone else can’t tell me what that will be. And visa versa. It is as unique as each of us. What a relief that is because I’ve spent some time feeling like I was missing a gene when, what other people may think was fun seemed a tad absurd to me.
Choose how you will play
Our challenge is to determine what play is for us, at each stage of our lives. I’ve been in the second half of life for a hot second now and play looks much different than it used to. Honestly, physical activity was play for me. I recall an event where I rode a bike and ran through the mud and concluded feeling enthusiastic as a child. The mere act of muddying up my body and bike was rebellious, titillating even.
But today? That same event would exhaust me. Reading a book, writing…that feels like play. Entertainment for my brain. Chasing the dog around the house and having her engage is play. Spending time with friends, being outside in nature, all elements of play. When we’re on the journey of Wholehearted Living, part of the path includes accepting change. Who we are today will not be who we are tomorrow or whoever that girl thought she was at 21. Grown-up was not an accurate description by any stretch.
We’re allowed to change how we play the key is…keep doing it. Bringing play into the picture. Our hearts need lifting and our spirits require boosting. Play does that for us. So, for me today…go out and play…and once you have, my brave friends, drop a note in the comments. Share how you play, and we’ll feel joyous right alongside you.