Tag: faith

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Steps Forward

Path ChoicesThink about a situation where you’ve felt as though you needed to take a step off the path you were on. Where you knew that you knew you were supposed to be walking down another path. Or, maybe it was that you felt called to do something in addition to what was currently in your life.

I’ve been there.

For the last couple years, I’ve been in that swirl. I’d make newborn (not even baby) steps in the direction I wanted to go and then, whoa, whoa, whoa, that seems scary, that seems uncertain. Stop. Because the truth of what I knew I wanted to do, what I believe God is calling me to do, was still out there, I continued to feel unsettled. Too scared to move forward, but discontent with my current circumstance.

Sound familiar? The unknown can evoke a great deal of fear. Where does that fear come from? We make it up. We create a story in our minds, maybe based on past experiences, or what we’ve seen happen around us, but it’s completely contrived by us. We have limiting beliefs – maybe from situations in the past, or from what we’ve been told by others – that hold us back. It’s hard to press against those with the reminder that they may not be future predictors. We let our limiting beliefs call the shots. When we do, we get what we always got. We do what we’ve always done. A white picketed safe version of life.

Or, we can get curious. In my couple years of taking tiny steps, they’ve started to add up to actual steps. I’ve gotten curious about my own beliefs, the limitations I place on myself, the fears I wrestle with. Getting curious about the, dare I speak it, control I have to let go of in order to live my authentic life. To lean into my desires and passions, the calling God has placed on my heart. And I’ve started noticing a few things.

Opportunities have begun to show up. From the most unexpected sources. That are aligned with my values and direction I’m heading.  And I feel like I’m not working hard for it. In reality I have worked hard for it, via my life’s experiences and the work I’ve done thus far.

One opportunity might lead to another, and another. Perhaps down a straight path, but knowing me, probably not, I have an affinity for crooked paths. I’ve realized that taking tiny steps, but taking them consistently, can add up to the change you want. It might take longer than you’d like, but you’ll get there, and the closer you get, the bigger steps you might be willing to take. I am. I’m intentionally putting myself in situations that make me uncomfortable. Ones where I know I’m on the right path but it pushes up against my edges. That’s ok.

I don’t know what kind of path you’re on, the journey you’re taking, but stay curious. Continue to wonder what today has to do with that thing you did yesterday, with the thing you’re going to do tomorrow. Live into your authenticity, your strength. I know you can take the brave steps, at your own pace. Keep taking them. That dream your working towards, it’s waiting.

 

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Thoughts on being content

peace with contentmentContentment is a topic that comes up frequently in conversations around me. To be content with what we have. It’s one of the themes found throughout the Bible. Being satisfied with what we have, who we are, and where we’re going. “…I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation…through him who gives me strength” Phil 4:12-13  In my own estimation, being content is a sister to mindfulness which is a state of active, open attention on the present.

Over the last couple years, I’ve spent a great deal of time learning about and practicing mindfulness. At the same time, I’ve been diving into learning about human behavior. I’ve become a student of Brene Brown, learned behavior tools – DISC and the Enneagram (and dabbled with others) – become a coach, listen to a wide range of podcasts that probe this topic, and read, read, read. Honestly, much of what I’m learning, I can apply to my own life, and do.

And I love it. Love learning new concepts about human behavior, how to apply it in my relationships and in my own life. Yet, I wonder sometimes if I’m not being content.

My immediate response would be that I’m content, but that I’m growing, and that’s normal. I went to the dictionary to break down contentment and here’s what I found: defined it’s: a state of happiness and satisfaction. A mental or emotional state or satisfaction maybe drawn from being at ease in one’s situation, body and mind. To be free from care because of satisfaction with is already one’s own. That seems to simple. I am content with my surroundings, generally, with some of the aspects of my life, but believe that I’m “not there yet.” Life is not perfect, I am most certainly not perfect (and never will be), and I am continuing to evolve.

I suspect part of my challenge with the idea of contentment is that it feels like complacency. I’ve gone back to the dictionary to ensure I was understanding that term accurately. Complacency: self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies. Satisfaction with yourself. A feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like. Complacency feels like sticking my head in the sand.

It’s the tension between contentment and complacency that plays out in my mind. How to balance the two so that I’m not constantly seeking, but am content, while at the same time not being complacent. That said, I know that if you look hard enough, or maybe not even that hard at all, you will find areas of your life where you can improve. But I think there’s a different between circling that drain and honestly looking for areas where you want life to be different. Where you want to engage with life, in relationships, differently.

When I ask myself if I am content, I would say yes. Certainly, yes with belongings, with my general circumstances. But I’m still a work in progress, aren’t we all? There are passions I’m still pursuing, ways that I want to engage with life that I continue to work on. It doesn’t come from a place of dissatisfaction, but rather a place of curiosity. My authentic self is coming out slowly, but it takes curiosity to see the places someone else’s definition of how my life should be is what guided me.

Back to contentment. Yes, I’m content. Yes, I’m curious. There is room for both. What there is not room for is complacency. Life’s changing too quickly for that. Authenticity requires the curiosity. Peace comes from contentment.  I hope you find both in your life today my brave friends.

 

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I have questions

church in portlandDear God, It’s me, Lisa.

I have a lot of questions, and I often wish that I could ask God the questions that linger in my mind. Those matters of the heart I don’t understand, social injustice issues, why my heart hurts so much at times it’s palpable. Why people are mean to each other, at a fundamental level, which really boils down to why are we so inclined to be up in each other’s business. Why it can be so difficult for us to appreciate people as they are and love them. I’d also want to know how my family is doing. Those who are hanging out in Heaven. Is my Nana dancing to Frank Sinatra? I hope the answer would be yes. And could I also ask what the deal is with Brazil nuts? What was the point with creating those?

There are ways I can look for answers to my many questions. I have prayer. Sometimes I feel I get answers but others I don’t. So, I live in a space of trusting, believing. That’s what faith is about for me. Trusting in what I cannot see. I also have the Bible, which I regularly read and seek to understand, but I’m not one to push the Bible in your face or ask “do you know where you’re going when you die?” Honestly? I know that’s one that some Christians love to lead with. For me? Straight up turn off.

And since I’m putting it out there, I wrestle at times to understand what I’m supposed to do in life, like anyone does. I know I don’t have to figure it all out, that I can rely on God for that. But I still try sometimes. That feels normal. Any one of us wrestles, whether it be about why life can be hard lying awake at 3 a.m. or how to understand areas of the Bible that just don’t make sense to me, in today’s times. I am a woman, I’ve cut my hair, I’m still fairly certain that doesn’t condemn me in the end. And I like bacon. I eat it on occasion and have no plans to quit.

I was thinking about all of these matters the other day and was reminded of some of the ridiculous schemes I carried out in my younger years. Plans in my early 20’s I thought were brilliant that more accurately looked like a train about to run off the tracks. But I also look at the context. What was happening at the time. My age, my life experiences to date, what was going on around me, the social context, what was happening in the world – the challenges we faced. All that impacted what was important to me. Those factors impact anyone, at any time, including today. Looking back with the lens I have today is like comparing apples to a watermelon.

That’s where some of my questions come in. If the context and what was going on 30 years ago is so vastly different than now, what would it have been like thousands of years ago when the Bible was written? Different. Looking at it with the lens of today isn’t just apples to a watermelon, it’s apples to, say, a boulder. And that’s where I have questions. Those things are worthy of having conversations around. What is not helpful is to sit around judging each other. That’s not my job, and really, who am I to judge? All that does is create walls and I’d rather look for ways to break those down. The authentic pieces of me are continually being shaped and formed and asking questions to understand is part of that. To bring out and completely understand what I believe, because at the end of the day, my faith is my own. No one else’s. I am responsible for it.

At the end of the day, I have found answers and at the same time, I still have questions. But I know this. Jesus said to love him and love one another. Period. Not if they abstained from bacon or were perfect (none of us have that claim to fame), but simply love each other.

I can do that. No questions asked.