Tag: Get out and play

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Why October is my favorite

While I do not suppose to speak for all Enneagram 9’s, this Nine has few favorites. I noticed it a few years ago as lists floated around Facebook, encouraging you and your followers to list favorite candy, or color, car or cartoon. I avoided those lists because I felt slightly inept at not being able to answer all the questions. No, I have no favorite food, I like Mexican food, but stop short of calling it a favorite. Because, subconsciously, I think I knew that if you pick a favorite, it could cause controversy. No thank you says my Nine self. BUT, I love October, and yes, it is my favorite.

Why so serious?

It’s possible it landed in my top spot because it’s the month of my birth, true. And I’ve also noticed in the three days that have passed since the 1st that I feel a little bit spunky, maybe even a little bit Alexis (knowingly shaking my shoulders to my fellow Schitt’s Creek fans). Fitting because the Wholehearted Living Guidepost I’m focusing on this month is:

Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance.

And Letting Go of Cool and Always in Control

If there was something more opposite than me, this guidepost would be it. Ten thousand percent not joking.  I’ve been told I’m too serious, but I come by it honestly. Responsibility at a young age will do that to you. By the age of four I knew my way around the inside of a hospital and was asking to take over the care of babies. True story. I was in the hospital for months but not in a contagious way so I could play with and hold babies. By fifth grade, I tried to take over cleaning my brother’s room because it was full of filth and pestilence. He didn’t even try to stop me. Who was smarter? On second thought…

It’s ok to play

But that feeling of spunky and feisty has started poking at me. Chipping away at the edges of the responsible outer shell. In the middle of work the other day, not 100% out of place, but out of character, I broke into a Benedictine Monk hymn singing voice to accentuate a point…on a call with about ten other people. Momentarily taken over by silly and not sure where it even came from. And I lived.

In Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us Podcast, she spoke about play being unstructured time spent with no purpose and described what is play for her family. That’s incredibly difficult as I feel like play doesn’t come naturally. But, it did make me think about what is play for me. The ‘time spent with no purpose’ kept tripping me up. And maybe that’s mindset. When I think about writing, for example, I love to sit down and put the wandering of my mind onto the paper…but I’ve made it include a purpose, which is to put out this blog. Or when I ride my bike, it’s not only for fitness, but also for the joy of being outside, which brings me energy and closer to God. So that ‘purpose’ continues to get attached. Is it possible I think too much?

Back to October

Perhaps this, my favorite month, even in what has been a nutsville year, is an invitation to explore a different side of Wholehearted Living. Release the white knuckled grip on responsibility aka control and spend time with no purpose. October is the tipping point month between the sweltering heat of summer and the chill in the air. It’s the transition of leaves turning and falling, making room for new growth after a long hibernation. A time when you can wear sweaters, but don’t always have to…and can almost enjoy a hot cup of tea without it triggering a hot flash. Almost being the operative word.

October is a reminder that I was a little girl once, and that little girl remains inside of me. She would celebrate all month with streamers and cupcakes and play, not worrying about responsibility, but instead instigating laughter. And so, the noise that is the world around us can fade this month (I know I’m not alone in desiring that dream to be a reality). Even if this is not the month of your birth, how can you give yourself permission to spend time without purpose? It’s not as lofty of a goal as it sounds. I come back to the idea that it’s mindset…it’s one thing at a time…it’s intentionality…and it’s possible for you and possible for me. Go play, my friends. Be Brave. Lisa

 

 

 

 

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Do you need to dance like nobody’s watching?

Are there moments within your ordinary life that are mundane, but which bring you joy? In COVID-life, I’ve been paying closer attention what feels like play. Particularly so this month as I focus on the Wholehearted Living Guidepost “Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth” I had one such experience this morning. And thank the good Lord in heaven no one was watching.

Dance like nobody is watching

Here’s the buildup. I’d been fussing around my house since 7 a.m. Precariously climbing a ladder to trim a tree with my newly acquired tree lopper (oddly satisfying – I have to admit it) and cleaning, and cleaning, and cleaning. No one was home, ideal situation for cleaning. Headphones in, my jamming tunes going, singing at the top of my lungs, frightening the dog. Seriously, she was confused. And then, my power ballad came on. Whitney Houston belting out One Moment in Time. There was singing, there was dancing, there were arm movements. It was a thing. Probably looked more like one of these things, the bad ones, than Whitney. But it wouldn’t have happened if anyone had been home.

Why don’t we dance like nobody is watching…when someone is?

As I was gloriously enjoying Whitney, and one, maybe two repeat performances, I wondered if there were people who, in their moments of play, of relaxation into their true selves, could honestly let go enough to dance and sing like I was if other people were around. I’d thought about that before, when I was married and it wasn’t going well, wishing he would walk in and see that part of me with hopes that would show a different side of me.

Instead of showing that soft underbelly of ourselves – oh, I am the only one who feels like that? Unlikely. Letting someone see that playful, silly, secret, inner Whitney side of myself doesn’t happen, nope, because it feels risky. In the context of the Guidepost focus for this month, it undermines the front we might be striving to create, one of productivity to the point of exhaustion if we allow someone to see us while at play.

Dance party for one is a start…but…

For those of us who lean towards the serious side like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, yours truly included, incorporating a dance party for one is a place to start. But what would it take to open yourself up to involving others in your play? What would that look like for you? Believe me, I get that it’s not easy, any why is that? Let’s cut to the chase, vulnerability. When you play, you might look silly. Or better yet, when you play, 9 times out of 10, you will look silly. So what? Vulnerability defined by Brené Brown is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. Do those components exist when you invite someone into your private dance parties, your private play?

100%.for. sure.

Vulnerability gets you to courage

I had someone comment the other day that you have a choice to be vulnerable and surrender or retreat…and that courage is the bridge. You can choose to surrender to the moment and let someone into to your inner world, invite them to share you play time, or you can retreat and keep yourself apart. I’m not going to tell you one is better than the other. But what I am going to tell you is that I believe there is a time for both, and if you listen to your heart, you will know when that time is.

My friends, I know you are courageous. If you’ve been with me for any length of time, you know we’re on a vulnerable, courageous journey to a wholehearted life. It is one step at a time and at moments feels like a slog-fest, which is normal, I’m sure of it. But Wholehearted Living, bringing our whole self, including play and rest, letting go of exhaustion, know that self-worth is within us every moment, not externally derived, is our path. We’re on that brave path together my friends. Sending you all the love. Lisa