Face the fear Archives - Page 5 of 7

July 9, 2017

What if there’s another way?

Be curious We all have one. That person who simply rubs us the wrong way. It could be the way they act, the way they talk, or maybe there’s just something about them…you can’t quite put your finger on it. I’ve had “those people” too.

Like the one who always seemed confrontational to me. No matter what we had to talk about, it felt confrontational. I struggle with that.

The one who seemed like they always had to be in the middle of everything, always had something to say, wanted to make the conversation come back to them. That can make me crazy.

Or the one who was bossy…wait that one was me…scratch that.

I recently chose to look at one of “those” people in a different way. Stay with me on this.

I’ve mentioned before that I know I’m not a “slice of cake.” I’m quirky, and have my own stuff that has been known to rub up against people in the wrong way. But I came by it honestly. Circumstances in life over the years resulted in my behaviors.

When I first spent time with this person, I noticed they talked a lot about themselves. Took credit for everything…ok maybe not everything, but it felt like it. Wanted to be the person who finished every story. At first, it bugged me. I was probably judging them. I’ll be honest. But then I became curious.

Instead of letting this person rub me the wrong way…which is really my choice…I observed. Instead of judging (which is just a reflection of me and my wiring)…I wondered. Just like I came by the behaviors I have though “life,” so did this person.

Maybe they had a family growing up that was chaotic, or had to fight to be heard, or maybe life was just tough for them. So they found a way to survive. We all do. We find a way, usually as children, to make situations which could otherwise be “scary” livable. Maybe you grew up in the “perfect” American family. Even in those families, you find the way to get along, to navigate through life and circumstances. There’s still family dynamics, still sibling stuff, parent expectations. You find a way to navigate it…to survive it.

That’s what I started thinking about. The “why.” Wondering about their life what it was like for them. What circumstances developed those behaviors. I chose to look at them as a person, instead of something that was bothering me. It made a huge difference. The person who may have rubbed me wrong became someone who I understood. I may not have completely understood them, but I replaced potential irritation with knowing. Knowing there were reasons they acted like they did.

When you come right down to it, we’re all just people. People who are trying to navigate life with the tools we have. I believe that the vast majority of people want to get along with others. But they may have learned along the way that people in their lives can’t be trusted, or, aren’t reliable, or, love only when they are high achievers, or they have to fight for attention, or…fill in your own blank. So they have ways they interact that don’t always mesh with other people.

For me, I’m going to choose to stay curious. To wonder. And to know that, deep down, we’re all just people. People created perfectly by God who have been through life. Try it. Be curious…I believe it will change your relationships.

June 25, 2017

Silencing loudest voice

youarenotalone The other day, I had some pictures taken for a project I’m working on. The amazing photographer I worked with, Meredith (http://mercarty.com/) and I spent a lot of time talking during the 3 hour shoot. I’d previously worked with Meredith through a group that held workshops for women, and which offered some coaching in the process.

I told her about my coaching business and ask we were talking, mentioned that I’d also been working with a nutritional psychology coach (www.lolonutrition.com ). As she positioned me for one of the shots, she had me twist a ring around on my finger. I told her that ring is something I bought when my good friend and peer coach told me to get something to remind myself to “be nice” to me since I was so hard on myself. I told her how my coach and I had been working on my internal dialogue about my body and what a lifetime battle that had been. Meredith echoed that she had the same battle with her internal voice.

And it occurred to me that, as women, we often think our struggle with the internal dialogue is ours alone. It doesn’t come to our minds that other women struggle with the very same thing. That’s just a big lie! It keeps us isolated in our struggle and without the support of the very people we need. And sometimes we even judge those other women, thinking they have it all together, or that they could never relate to us. In fact, they may share the same internal pain. That makes me sad, makes my heart hurt.

What would it take for women to feel like they could share their internal struggles, the things they say to themselves when they’re feeling down, with others who’ve felt their pain? Who’ve looked in the mirror and immediately said things to themselves that they would never say to anyone else. The thought of having that kind of group, encouraging others, and myself, through the struggle, brings me joy. That’s what I want to focus on in my coaching practice. The worst thing we can do for ourselves is think we’re alone. We’re not.

I challenge you to take a step with me. When you hear inner voice, the things it says to you, pay attention. Don’t automatically believe it. Question the truth of what is said, challenge it. Like I was encouraged to do, find something, some object, that reminds you to be nice to yourself. Those mean things we say to ourselves, we need to take steps to change that. We are unique, amazing, beautiful women in all of our shapes and sizes and we need to embrace that.

Starting today, take time to love yourself. Think about something you love about yourself and appreciate that, cherish it. Pay attention to the compliments people give you and believe them. Don’t dismiss those encouraging words. You were made exactly as you are for a reason, embrace it, and embrace you!

May 13, 2017

Your true Yes

True Self Though I am in recovery, I am a pleaser. I aim to make people happy. If I think a decision I’m making will result in negative feedback from someone else, I’m thinking twice about it. As a result, I often say yes easily. Now, I truly do like helping people, but my automatic yes sometimes results in the voice in my head asking, in a whiny voice, “why?”

This week though, was asked by someone I’d worked with doing some freelance work could refer me to a colleague. Within minutes, I was writing out the response text to say “sure, thanks for asking.” But then I stopped. I started thinking about the kind of work I’d done with them in the past and how that wasn’t what I wanted to be doing. Could I do it? Yes. But want to? No. And so, after thinking and praying about it, the next morning I wrote him and declined, referring them instead to a former colleague who specializes in that type of work. And it felt great!

Before I made the decision, I felt anxious, nervous about saying no, but once I did, once I was true to myself, I felt free. Later in the week, I was involved in a situation by default and the discussion was around a topic that I’d rather not think about for hours on end. It was necessary, but negative, draining, and I could feel the uneasiness in my stomach all day. In that case, I didn’t have a choice. But in many cases, I do, you do.

Think about it this way. Those things you really love to do, you do with all your heart. Could be something creative, could be cleaning, cooking, or golf, skiing, cycling, or swimming, or maybe you work on cars, or are a collector…only you know what that thing is, but when you’re doing it, it’s your jam. You lose track of time. For me, it’s being creative, and it’s engaging with others and helping them move their lives forward, whether it be at home or at work. When I’m in that space, I’m in it with all my heart. I’m engaged, and focused.

It’s my sweet spot.

What I’ve learned is that the greater degree to which I can stay in the sweet spot, the better results I’m going to have. AND, the more focused and productive I’ll be. Think about it for yourself. Do you know your sweet spot? If you do, what percent of your day are you spending in that space? And if you’re not spending a lot of time there, why not?

If you don’t know your sweet spot, you have a unique opportunity. One which could lead you to feel like you’re all in, engaged, and creating a fulfilling life. I know that, for me, I’ve spent too much time trying to please others, and saying yes when I really want to say “heck no.” And it’s not about only doing what I want, or what I’m good at. It’s about being in that sweet spot where I know I’m using gifts that I’m meant to be using. My own ‘special sauce.’ So if you’re still looking…not quite sure what the sweet spot feels like, saying yes when you want to say no, spend some time on it, dream. If you need a little help, or guidance on your journey, that’s what I’m here for, it’s my sweet spot.

March 12, 2017

What to do with self-awareness

Take-A-Small-Step-Everyday I’ve been thinking about self-awareness. The journey to self discovery that a lot of us go on at some point in our lives. Why we do it can be different for everyone. It could be a traumatic event, realizing that the way you interact in relationships isn’t working so well, feedback someone you care about gives you, breakups, health scares, turning…ahem…50…maybe, you get it, lots of reasons.

However you get there, here’s how it typically goes. You realize that something isn’t working for you, for whatever reason. So you start thinking about it. Maybe you journal about it. Talk to a trusted friend about it, or a family member…although the family member may be part of the issue, so you maybe you steer away from that…but you find a person, and you talk, you process.

As you go through processing, there are a lot of ways you can look at your situation.

Woe is me, my world is collapsing…

You could get angry…you’re being treated unfairly…it’s someone else’s fault

Maybe you start to understand but try to justify or rationalize what you’re working through

Or you could think about other people, wanting to change for them, to change their experience with you

You may get to a place where you work through your own issues and connect to others…maybe

These are some of the ways you might process. And while awareness is awesome, you have to watch out for the snow snake. What?? The snow snake is something I remember from being a kid. You’re skiing down the hill, rock star, next thing you know, you’ve got a yard sale in the middle of the slope. Your skis are off, a tangled mess because you went down, hard. Not sure why? Must’ve been a snow snake…reached up and got you. That’s the thing with awareness, it’s important not to get stuck in it, not get taken down by the snow snake and end up in a swirling mess, beating yourself up. Self-awareness, at the figuring out level is good, it’s healthy, it helps you work through issues, understand yourself, but it’s not a place to get stuck.

If you can take your awareness and use it to move yourself forward, to change and make your life better, or more fulfilling, make your relationships thrive, that’s the ticket. Awareness is great, it’s important, but you can be the most self-aware person in the world and still be unhappy, still feel stuck. Instead, think about how you can use it to move yourself forward.

Think about where you want to be, your desired state of being, and how you’re going to get there. What would be ideal? What’s acceptable? What’s in the middle? Create a plan around those. What can you do this week. Break it up into chunks. Want to improve your relationship with your partner? What’s one thing you can do this week? Making a shift in your career? Again, what’s that one thing you can do this week to move forward, and then build on that.

My challenge to you this week is move forward. Take your healthy awareness, and look at where you want to see shifts in your life. All you have to do to start changing is one thing. What will it be for you?

March 5, 2017

Getting to your new life

brave-new-life I’ve been on a kick with Brian Andres’ art. Truthfully, it’s less the art and more the words. He has such a simple way of saying things that impact me. Words that perfectly state what I’m already thinking about. I recently wrote about choosing your path forward and the values that drive you. So his words in this piece spoke to me.

There’s another side to it though, one that sets up road blocks for me on a regular basis, fear. I am not a therapist but some days feel like I could play one on TV. One of the things I know is that sometimes, people (and when I say people, yes, that includes me), are presented with a new way of approaching life, or their decisions. And they may move down that new path, but then find themselves going back to the old way they did things. The old way may include pain, or difficulty. But they know it. They know how to operate in that zone, they know it won’t kill them.

So how do you break out of that cycle? How do you ditch your getaway car, your contingency plan? For good.

Honestly, it’s tricky. It takes a conscious effort. In my own experience I’ve circled back more times than I care to say. In my “new life” I require myself to be authentic…shoot, I’m still figuring out what that really is for me…to speak truth, to be brave. I knew I needed a constant reminder to be brave, so I tattoo’d it on my wrist, no kidding. Going back to the old ways I didn’t like but knew wouldn’t kill me, the old dance routine that I knew the moves to, that would be easy. The new life isn’t always easy.

So how to continue stepping forward? Get clarity. That part is easier said than done sometimes. Take a minute and think about your values. The ones you’ve identified as important in your life. Now take a second look. Are your values based on what’s important to you or instead, a fear? Here’s what I mean. Take responsibility. Big value of mine, big big. But if I’m truthful, although responsibility is a good thing, I think I gravitate to it because of the fear of being irresponsible. Irresponsibility, in my mind, is bad, shameful, says that I’m a bad person. Whether it does or doesn’t is immaterial, really, it’s what I tell myself.

If you start to think about your values, and are truthful with yourself in identifying what drives them, it will help with clarity. Fear is something that can crop up in a lot of unsuspecting ways, this is just one of them. When you have clarity about why you’re making decisions, why you’re choosing the brave new life, it’ll make it easier to sell off your getaway car. I won’t say I’m 100% there, but I can say I’m a lot closer. I have buyers for my getaway car. I’ve dipped more than my toe in the new life and am ready to jump in.

How about it? Ready to really ditch your getaway car, to be brave? You don’t have to tattoo it on your wrist, but whatever it is that helps you keep looking forward, for the right reasons, get that thing. That’s my challenge to you. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. Whatever tools you need, whether it be a symbol, a person, or something else, do it. The new life awaits!

February 26, 2017

Who defines your world?

This fragile-world second half of life thing, all that comes with it, rears up on me regularly. I’m now happy to “sleep in” to 5:30 a.m., a time that, when my son was a baby, I thought was the middle of the night. The aches and pains are more regular… When did that happen?? I could go on and on. But that’s not the second half stuff I’m focused on today. I’ve talked about one of my favorite artist/writer/ poets Brian Andres before. Love his stuff, love the picture I got today in my email.

I don’t know that I’ve lived as though the world is fragile. But what I have done is tread lightly through life. Afraid to make mistakes. As though everyone’s balance in life depended on what I was doing. Like I had that much control. Balancing everyone else’s expectations, desires, needs above my own. And for me that’s a fragile balance. I “promised to remember as long as I could.”

This is where the second half comes in. I realized it’s not my job to maintain this fragile balance.

For any of us, the more we work to maintain other people’s balance, the less we maintain our own. It can result in living with a lot of fear, fear that the balance will be disrupted and that we’ll have to make everything right again, which can be exhausting. But we don’t. We were not created to meet everyone else’s expectations, God created each of us for our own purpose. It likely involves helping others, but you have understand yourself first.

The thing is, a lot of us have been told that focusing on ourselves is selfish. And truthfully, it can be. There’s a difference though between “it’s all about me,” and “who am I? what do I want?” A lot of women I know approach the second half after spending their lives maintaining that fragile balance for everyone else. In doing that though, they find they’ve lost steam, they’ve lost touch with who they are. When you reach that tipping point, your ability to be there for others diminishes quickly. There’s a reason they tell you on airplanes to secure your own oxygen mask before securing others’.

I know. I’ve been there. And I’m taking a different approach on the second half. It’s been work that I haven’t done alone. Discovering what my purpose is, what God’s purpose is for me in this second half, has been the result of slowing down, of having someone who pushed back on me, caused me to look at what’s important.

Could you answer that question? What’s important for you? Could you share your top values? Bigger question…are you living in alignment with those values? I encourage you to take some time, list your top 5-10 values, and then rate yourself on how you’re doing in those areas. If you find that you’re not in alignment, get out of your head for a minute and check in with your heart. How do you feel about it? Incorporate both your head, heart and what your gut tells you and make a shift.

That fragile world? You may have been remembering to walk carefully, but forgotten yourself along the way. Whether you’re in the second half or not, you can make a change. Live authentically, in line with your values and the world won’t be so fragile. Your true self, your “on purpose” self? The world isn’t fragile for you, it’s exactly as it’s supposed to be.

February 19, 2017

A choice to make…

I’ve talked about it before, and it’s no surprise to those who know me. I am a creature of habit. I mean, big time. I create processes for things I do regularly, each step is part of the experience. And the “experience” is a big deal for me. As in, I shop at Whole Foods because I like the “experience.” I wander, I look at interesting products, I taste different samples, the people are nice, and unique. I don’t care if some products are more expensive, I am about the experience.

Yesterday morning, I went for an early swim. I swim during the week, but it’s early, and dark. Saturday mornings, I can go a little later (as if 7 a.m. is late, but later than my normal time). It’s light out, quiet…an awesome way to start the day. I even get to be a little hopped up on caffeine since I’ve been up for a while. Amazing how that gives me more energy! I go to Starbucks, get coffee and a water which I take with me and have poolside to drink during my workout. I get to the gym, ready to go…cap on, earplugs in, goggles on, swim watch ready to count my laps, water, game on.

So as I started swimming, about one lap in, it dawned on me. No water. I’d left in in my car. Routine disrupted.

I usually swim for about an hour and I had a choice to make.

I could continue swimming but be thinking about how stupid I was for not remembering my water. Lamenting the entire time about how, “once again,” I’d done something dumb.

I could get angry. Swim ruined. Can’t continue without water so I’ll just pack up my toys and go home.

I could accept it, rationalizing that I wouldn’t die of thirst in an hour. The pool wasn’t the Sahara desert.

I could be thankful that I’d have water in the car when I was done.

I could see it as an opportunity – as a positive because, honestly, drinking more water after the coffee I had was likely to make me have to take a nature break in the middle of my swim.

I could “become one” with the water and know that the water I inadvertently consumed as it got in my mouth while I breathed would do the job.

I chose to keep swimming. Adjusting my routine, not beating myself up, thankful I wouldn’t have to take a break in the middle of my swim. And everything worked out. It continued to be a beautiful, peaceful morning and I didn’t die of thirst.

But that’s not always the choice I’ve made. I’ve beat myself up. I’ve gotten angry. There have been times when I’ve questioned whether I really swam at all because I didn’t have my Garmin telling me how many yards I had. In reality, what good did that do me? None. Why would I get so worked up over the little things?

The choices we make about how to respond to what life presents us creates our “experiences.” We can choose responses that move the experience forward, or choose to respond in a way that propels us into a negative death spiral and ruins the experience.

These days, I choose “move the experience forward.” That hasn’t always been the case. It’s taken a bit of work to get there, but my life is different because I can now enjoy experiences just as they are. It takes work to stay in that mindset, but it’s worth it. I encourage you to look at what you choose – do you move forward or do you get stuck? If you’re stuck and want to move forward, I’d love to work with you, because I choose forward and know that you can too!

February 12, 2017

The Next Step

believe-in-yourself Over the last few days, I’ve found myself filled with a high level of frenetic energy. Why? I don’t know. Ok, slight cop-out there. I think I know but instead of taking another step forward, my brain wants to stall. Not necessarily take the one step back, but forward? What will that look like? Am I good enough? The doubts threaten to spill over like water in the rivers and lakes around me so full from rain.

After a lot of hard work, I’m about 3 hours of work away from my coaching certification. And with that, I can feel the shift in my life coming. That’s what’s behind all this. Being in my class has provided a sense of safety because I had mountains of coursework to work through. Now that all that is virtually done, I’m on my own again. Having to make decisions instead of conquering what’s presented to me. That? The challenge? I’m really good at that. Overcoming, pushing forward…I have ninja skills for that.

But the ‘what’s next’? That produces the frenetic energy. I’m not sure what to do with that energy. In the past, I haven’t had a lot of doubt about that part. Give me the challenge and I’m great. Blank canvas? Yikes.

Except this time, I know it doesn’t have to be like that.

I tend to make life hard. But it doesn’t have to be. In reality, life can be easy, happiness can be easy. And I don’t mean cop-out easy, I mean I have the abilities to press forward if I just shift the way I look at situations. In the past, I may have considered myself to be at the effect of what was happening “to” me. I now know it’s a choice to be in that space, that energy.

I have talked to a lot of my friends who have subscribed to the same thought pattern. This is one of those cases though where there isn’t strength in numbers. So how to move forward? I’ve learned that creating another mountain to conquer isn’t the answer. That’s what I’ve done before. Another goal, another accomplishment, all to prove to myself that I can achieve whatever I set my mind to. I’ve created my own battles.

God created me, created you, for a great purpose. Stepping into that, not creating hurdles, is the opportunity. We weren’t created with conditions. My “master plan,” did not read “Lisa will have an awesome life after she”… fill in the blank. I’ve filled in the blank over and over, and what I finally realize is that the blank was never there in the first place. Life doesn’t happen “to me,” life doesn’t have to be one big challenge. Thankfully, I’ve had coaches who’ve helped me realize that. I’ve said before, it’s a strength to realize Print when you need help. And this is one of those areas I, and others (maybe you), need help.

The struggle is not real, my friends. I got help stepping off the struggle bus and into the life I was created for. Although stepping back on the bus is appealing at times, that’s only because it’s “familiar.” Familiar doesn’t mean good. I’m choosing to continue stepping forward. Two steps will become more. They can become more for you too, it’s your choice, on the bus or off? If you want off, contact me and I’ll share how coaching can help you find your own steps forward and into the life you were created for.

February 5, 2017

Grace wins…every time

engaged Getting out of my own way…pretty sure that’s the alternate title for what I want to share today. Over the last 16+ months, I’ve been working to figure out me. Who I am, who did God create me to be, what is my purpose, what brings me passion…it’s been painful, and joyful and amazing. I’ve been surrounded by amazing women who have walked with me for parts of the journey, and I’ve gotten great counsel. Some of that counsel has been rough to hear, but I’ve been listening.

Last summer, I felt God was leading me to enroll in a coaching certification class. The day I walked in, I knew that was what I was supposed to be doing. What I could not have foreseen is where that would lead.

One of the great parts of being in a coaching class is that you are coached, every week. As I started through that process and worked through examining the “deep dive into the dark corners of my life,” as I like to call it, I started to see things differently. This is where it gets really interesting, so sit down.

My husband, Jeff, and I divorced last year. It’s something I chose. That’s painful to say. Those of you who are married know it is hard work. In my mind, at that time, I’d thought I’d done the work, and it wasn’t better. I knew Jeff was doing the work too, but I was stuck in my mind. And so, eyes focused, or so I thought, I moved forward. But even as painful as it was, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Over time, I healed…and I kept praying…for him and for guidance. I read, I got counselling…still stuck and not knowing why I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Feeling love for him again.

And then I started the coaching program. In the past I’d always focused on Jeff, ways I felt hurt, and couldn’t see how he could possibly claim I’d hurt him. But then I did. It was like a punch in the gut, blinders off. My awesome coach pushed back on me, in a good way. She helped me really put the mirror up and see Jeff’s perspective. Like a snowball going downhill, I could see it more and more. And I knew I had to tell him that I could see how I hurt him. Not an easy task since we hadn’t talked in months. Not to mention that not so good friend of mine, pride (pride is no one’s friend!) was trying to convince me otherwise. So I wrote him a letter and asked to see him, that I had stuff to talk about. By God’s grace, he agreed. We had dinner and for probably one of the first times, I was truly vulnerable with him. And God took over. He had prepared me for tough conversation. For owning my stuff. For seeing how I’d been no slice of cake. Jeff was understandably wary, but he listened. And we kept talking.

It’s been close to 6 months now since that initial conversation. As I continued my class and coaching, I was able to approach Jeff differently. From a perspective of we instead of me vs. him, able to see his side. And I know he’s done a lot of work to approach me differently, I see it, I feel it. He’s been amazing. We’ve walked these last 6 months together. And God is doing what I would have thought would be impossible, healing both of us.

So when I say I got out of my way, that’s exactly what happened. I stopped trying to figure it out and let God use others, use my coach and all I was learning in my class, to really BE in the relationship with Jeff. And when I got out of the way, what happened? Grace won. We are getting married again. It’s is amazing and awesome and a gift from God. We are stronger, and open…and I know that I can lean into the relationship and trust him. I married an amazing man, and now, through grace…and by getting out of my way…I get to do it again (cue fireworks and confetti dropping from the ceiling).

I didn’t do this by myself, in fact, all “I” did was realize I didn’t have it all figured out and was open to what and who God put in my path. Family, girlfriends and the awareness from coaching all helped prepare me so that God, Jeff and I could reconcile and restore Print . Jeff showed me grace and mercy and it’s been amazing.

I share this story because I don’t know where you are today. But wherever that place is, however stuck you might feel, however defeated you think you are, there is hope. And you don’t have to do it alone. If you want someone to walk by your side, to be your mirror, I’ll do that for you, because I know how important and impactful it is. I know that when you lean in and trust, grace wins…every time.

January 29, 2017

Speak from your heart

when-your-heart-speaks Think of a conversation you’ve recently had, one you walked away from thinking “what just happened?” You may have gone into it with the best of intentions, but it went sideways in a heartbeat. Remember what you thought…how it made you feel…and the way you felt in your body as you walked away. Did you feel an ache or tightness in your chest, or in your gut, or did your neck feel tight?

Now think about a conversation that you’ve had where you ended feeling amazing. It flowed effortlessly, felt light, peaceful, freeing. You may have felt warmness in your body, joy in your heart, your mind didn’t have to think much because of how easily it flowed. It was with the same person, but completely different outcome.

What made the difference? You, that’s what made the difference. It may not seem that easy, but it is. Into every conversation we can choose what we bring with us. Are you bringing your assumptions and beliefs about yourself and the other person? Likely you are. The thing is, so is the other person, but the only one you can do anything about is you. And that’s not always an easy pill to swallow. We tell ourselves that we have a right to feel what we do, to defend ourselves, to really be heard, and when that doesn’t happen, we can become frustrated (which is really just a code word for angry). And at that point, it’s game on. We’re no longer listening, we’re acting from a place of fear, or hurt. The reason? Only you know that, but those limiting thoughts are all of a sudden directing traffic in your head, leading you to make statements or comments that most likely lead the conversation off the cliff.

But take a deep breath for a minute. Think about the conversation that went well. I had a conversation recently that could have gone either way. It was with someone I cared about, but we’d had a conversation that didn’t go well in the past, for either of us. This time, I approached it from a place of seeking to understand. To openly share my heart, to receive the information shared without judgement. To connect at a heart level and listen, not defend. It was amazing! I’m finding that when I can connect like that the outcome is always better than when I pre-script in my head. Pre-scripting is based on assumptions and basically sabotages the conversation because I tend to go down the path I already had in mind, versus staying present in the moment.

What I’m finding is that when I can stay present, when I travel light, without my fancy baggage, or my script…when I lead from my heart…it’s so much better than anything I would have dreamed up on my own. My head…thinking…that gets in the way of my heart. And my heart has a lot to say. I’ll bet yours does too. It’s not always easy to stay con Print nected to your heart, because your head wants to protect it. It tells you to defend, to stay safe, to stay away from harm…but those thoughts are limiting.

The next time you find yourself writing the script, the screenplay…take a breath. Listen to your heart. Connect with the other person, listen to their heart, remember that feeling you had when you walked away feeling light, at peace. At the core of it, you and your friend, your spouse, your family member both want the same thing. You both want to connect. So do it, use your memory of the amazing conversation and recreate that! Be open…be present…be brave…your heart knows the way.