This week I’ve been thinking about clearing space. Clearing space physically but mostly in my head. I have so many things I juggle in my head at any given moment it’s a little silly. And, in my mind, they’re equally important. Planning dinner…thinking about a task at work…dreaming of our next vacation. All equal billing.
What’s not getting enough play time? The big stuff. And more importantly…actually doing stuff that matters. I have in my head that I’m going to write a book, I will coach more, I will build flexibility and freedom into my life. That stuff? It’s stuck behind all the crap that is nothing more than distractions.
That’s the truth of it really. All the nonsense, the day to day stuff? I let it distract me from what’s important. There’s always ‘one more thing’ I want to be doing. One last email to send, one more mindless search to do on Google. I could have a medical degree for all the time I’ve spent researching, learning more about medical conditions. No joke. While endlessly fascinating, those distractions are not getting me any closer to the end game.
And I can feel it. A knowing that I’m filling my space with the wrong stuff. The uncomfortable feeling that happens when your heart, your soul, knows you should be moving in one direction and you’re stuck – because if no one does – fill in the blank – the world will end. Except it won’t. As I become increasingly aware of all the clutter, it’s like it’s starting to hit me in the face. Hey, hey, HEY…oh right, move it! Focusing, taking action on the right stuff, that’s what God wants. I’m uncomfortable because I’ve ignored the call too long, filling my life with easy distractions. I mean, seriously, would life end if I didn’t mop the floor?? (Side note…if you know me you’re silently calling me out on that…mopping is the bane of my existence…hate it…solution? Drop more food on the floor and let our dog lick it up…poof…floor clean…seriously).
It’s also easy to tell myself that “I’m getting ready,” it takes time to get ready for where I believe I’m headed. Distraction. Excuse. Fear.
Oh right, that. Fear. Not even kidding, for all the advice I give others about making shifts in their life, I drag my heals. Because of what? The fear that I’ll look stupid? That I’ll fail? In reality, so what if I fail? Plus, I believe that if I’m following the call that I believe God has put on my heart and prepared me for, I believe that even if I fail, this is part of my journey.
It’s hard to sit with that but it’s true. We look at failure as so soul crushing when it may be part of the journey we’re supposed to be on and there are lessons we need to learn in it. We, ok I, tend to shy away from situations that are less than certain to stay safe. I’ve decided safe it boring, and safe is not authentic. Authentic is following the calling. Knowing that success might be as simple as just listening and taking the leap of faith. Like in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. If you follow this blog you know I was recently in Petra where we re-enacted all things Indiana. At the end of the Last Crusade, Indiana had to take a leap of faith…to cross the invisible bridge. As soon as he took the first step, the bridge was there – clear for him to see.
That’s the brave part of the authentic journey. Take the leap of faith and trusting. The bridge to where you’re supposed to go, where I’m supposed to go, will be there. Whatever it is for you, I encourage you to take the first step. The path will become clearer, you’ll guide they way. Trust yourself, you have all the answers within you.