I had an anxiety attack last week. It arrived out of the blue and blindsided me. Visiting with my family, planning a trip to the beach that day, easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Our beach departure time was unexpectedly bumped up and upstairs preparing to go, I found myself unable to think straight. I could sense my thoughts jumbled and my stomach knotting up. Making a feeble attempt to determine what I needed to do, I froze. One thought dominated my mind which was, get out of this. In that moment, escaping the situation was the answer. Without thinking twice about it, I made my way downstairs to deliver the news. Anxiety had taken over.
Being chased by a tiger
Anxiety is a bear to describe to anyone who doesn’t have the clinical variety. It’s like teaching a dog to knit a sweater. The feelings that arise within you are not because of anything per se. I used to be asked if there was a precipitating event. A) that was fancy-pants talk; B) No. And no, I can’t accurately describe it or ‘relax.’ Because in that moment, if you’re having an anxiety attack, you’re being chased by a tiger.
In truth, hours later I can describe it because I may as well play a doctor on TV. Literally. I love all things medical and research accordingly.
When you are experiencing an anxiety attack, your brain has switched all functioning to the amygdala, otherwise known as your lizard brain. Its function is to ‘save you from the tiger.’ It releases adrenaline which floods your brain and functioning is reduced to fight or flight. I choose flight. Anxiety takes over and I want out of whatever situation I’m in. Escape the tiger.
Take a breath
In that moment, one of the only solutions is to take a breath, then another, and another. Your brain needs time to allow the flood to recede. For your pre-frontal cortex to resume functioning and think. That’s the solution.
But circumstances don’t always allow that space. Sometimes, you must push forward. Situations where, either in your mind or in fact, you have no choice. In which case, emotions start to fly. For me, tears. Others may exude anger, frustration, sadness. It’s the bodies way of trying to release the fight or flight hormone, the cortisol. The same thing happens when someone is angry or ‘seeing red,’ they can’t think their way out of it because they’re flooded. Likely, in fight mode.
You understand me
Fortunately, in my beach scenario, I was given a chance to take a breath. Departure time released, giving me space to breath and wade through the jumbled thoughts in my head. I had time…the only thing that calmed the tiger and allowed the flood of adrenaline to recede.
I don’t speak for anyone else how has anxiety, but I’ve learned that when I’m under stress, I’m far more prone to experience it. Particularly if my routine is thrown off. Routine provides me with security. When a situation has an increasing number of unknowns, the tiger gets restless. But with processing time, I can feed the tiger a snack, think through the situation and Tetris it all into place.
When we were driving to the beach and the tiger was safely back in its cage, thanks in part to time and in part to medication, I explained the neuroscientific cause of anxiety and it helped. Answers for my family who were always in my corner, but with information could better support me in the future.
We need to own our wellbeing
Those who struggle with anxiety, or other mental issues generally hide it from friends and family. Because shame. A general feeling of embarrassment or being flawed permeates those afflicted. You can’t see a mental challenge the way you may observe a physical one. People often don’t understand it. And yet, mental issues are equally impactful, perhaps more so because of the stigma tied to it.
But there is no shame in having a mental issue, it’s an illness. And honestly, those who are afflicted must own our wellbeing around it. For me, medication, meditation and breathing help. Talking about it after the fact helps. Being pushed in the moment? Does not help. It’s like the tiger invited their lion buddies to join the chase. If you struggle through a mental issue, my hope is that you have someone to talk to about it and that you obtain information that helps you understand what’s happening inside you.
At the end of the day, anxiety took over, but it didn’t win. Tiger secured. Flood receded. That’s authentic me friends. The messy, brave, wholehearted, daring me. We’re on the journey together. Be brave. Lisa