Spectacular beaches of fine white sand… fascinating turquoise blue sea…so reads the promotional page for Cancun. A destination I visited…in another life…where I could have stared into the sea 1,440 minutes a day. Turquoise blue accurately describes the water that in fact, is perhaps only slightly blue, if not clear. Water absorbs light that is red, yellow, and green but it scatters blue light because the rays are shorter. Larger bodies of water appear deeper blue due to the larger concentration, but cupped in your hand, water will appear clear. Images cast on it are reflected, creating a mirror image. Not unlike people. We create dual reflections. Both of what’s happening inside and a reflection of the people who impact us most.
Family reflections
My grandfather turned 95 in April. And at 53, I considered it a gift to have a living grandparent. Throughout my life, he’s been a steady force. Humble, kind, patient…a caregiver to my Nana for close to 20 years as we walked through the slow goodbye of Alzheimer’s disease. Never complaining, never even remotely considering any option but keeping her at home. Her longevity attributed to his care.
As we gathered at his bedside last week, preparing to say our own goodbyes to this force, I thought about the reflections he’s cast. I have memories of him from the earliest of ages, visiting my grandparents in Southern California back in the 70’s. Those memories appearing in my mind as faded photographs. He was a strong, quiet presence, balancing my Nana. The impact he created within my family is immeasurable. In those moments, he talked about the past, the choices, the commitments, the shenanigans…I especially like the shenanigans…so much messing around, a la 1940’s. We laughed and smiled and said I love you over and over.
We said goodbye on Mother’s Day. A final gift to my Nana. Her beloved joining her in the forever. Those of us here on earth reflect my grandfather’s impact, evident in the memories shared over and over, slivers of a reflection which create a beautiful tapestry.
Inner reflections
As water absorbs light and glimmers, reflective of its surroundings, it also shines back, from its depths. If turbulent, we see commotion and waves, but when peaceful, the smooth surface glistens. We are not unlike the water. When we’re experiencing turbulence, get ready. I’ve been told that my face reflects each and every thing going on inside of me. And though I’d like to deny it…that would be a lie. My nose crinkles, my eyes might roll (which I’d like to claim is a medical disorder, uncontrollable…that would also be a lie), my mouth shifts…askew and twisted up as though I’ve tasted eaten something distasteful.
Time and age have tempered those reflections, but I know they’re there. Not unlike my son who told me recently he was agitated…aka perhaps not safe for human contact…and he wisely chose to be elsewhere rather than risk he and I bickering. We reflect what’s happening inside us.
Reflections can be a gift
And while we reflect the impact of the people in our live who impact our lives and what’s happening within us, we can provide others the gift of reflection. I’m often surprised by what my parents, children, close friends observe in me. I mistakenly believe they don’t see those aspects I carefully tuck away, but they do. Reminding me I’m seen and calling out what I need to see.
Those observations are a gift.
The water provides us reflection, and we can do the same for people in our lives. I’m not talking about unsolicited opinions, nope. Keep those to yourself thank you very much. Observations, considerations, attributed another may not have awareness of. Ones which offer insight and opportunity for reflection of their own.
We reflect the impact people have on us, which is observable, positive or negative. I look at my grandfather thinking about his impact and consider my own. What impact do I have on others? What do the people I care about observe in me and reflect of me? If it’s not what I desire, how can I change that? Those reflections, they are the gift that allows us to evolve and grow into the person we yearn to be.
What are you reflecting? What am I reflecting? It’s a question I’ll be pondering in the coming days, weeks. And perhaps it’s one we should always carry in the back of our minds. It’s part of our journey, you and me. Be brave my friends. Lisa