Loving the adventure Archives - Page 2 of 4

September 3, 2017

Are you in your lane?

stay in your lane This weekend we drove to Bakersfield to visit my mother-in-law. Long, long holiday weekend drive. You know the kind. Crazy insane traffic, people everywhere, cars everywhere. At some point you just want to tell someone to stay in their lane. To relax, I like to listen to podcasts. I’ve recently started listening to Oprah’s Super Soul podcasts, love them, and one of many I played on that drive was Oprah talking to Joel Olsteen.

Now, I’m not a regular listener of Joel Olsteen, but their conversation was interesting on many levels, and one area that struck me was discussion about staying in your lane. Appropriate for what we were experiencing in that moment! Joel talked about Hebrews 12:1 “…Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Doing that requires that we stay in our lane. Our lane.

That begs the question. Do you know your lane? Because it’s hard to run your race well if you don’t even know what your lane is or maybe even the race you’re in. Or if you’re always looking into someone else’s lane thinking it might be better. Strike a chord? It did for me.

For a lot of my life, I believe I’ve been running someone else’s race, without really being clear on what race it was. That’s what happens when you try to live your life trying to meet someone else’s expectations. And you might think you know what the other person’s expectations are, but chances are you really don’t. In my case, the expectations I’d chosen to believe, and probably had enhanced in my mind, were impossible to reach, and worse yet, they probably weren’t even legit.

All trying to meet someone else’s expectations is going to do is leave you empty. Aching. Knowing that there is more you’re being called to do, but not knowing how to break out from the wrong lane you’re in to get there. I know, I’ve been there. I was in the wrong lane for so long, and in reality, I wasn’t that far off track, but off enough to feel the ache. Enough to know that there was more that God was calling me to do. It looks like unhappiness, it feels a little like depression, life feels flat.

And I searched, mainly within myself. I looked deep inside at my beliefs. At what was holding me back. I questioned a lot of things in my life. A spiral…so many false beliefs …assumptions…based on what I thought I should be doing, or what I thought other people wanted me to do. Things I believed, and when I finally realized they weren’t true, that I didn’t have to feel restricted by them anymore…well then what??

That’s when I found my lane. Stepped into the me that I was created to be. And all my wiring finally started coming together. I remember feeling like I was stepping into my life, into confidence in how I was created and what I was supposed to be doing. It wasn’t exactly what I thought, because that’s other thing. Sometimes we think we want to be in a particular lane and it’s not where we belong. We can force it, muscle it, but only for a while. But when it’s wrong it will exhaust you.

What about you? Whose lane are you in, yours’ or someone else’s? If you want to run your race, get into your lane! Don’t think the person next to you has a better lane, more glamorous lane. Know that your race is just that, it’s your race, unique, and specially created for you. Only you and God know what that race is supposed to be. When you find it, or if you’ve already found it, you’ll know that it is an amazing place to be. Life clicks. You have to be brave to get there, to stay there. I did, it’s still a journey, but I’m staying in my lane while I do it. I hope you’ll join me.

July 16, 2017

How do you love?

View More: http://mercarty.pass.us/lisa_kirby I have a fairly regular coffee date with a girlfriend and our conversations often launch my brain into thinking about all kinds of things. Beyond trying to figure out exactly the Spotify channel that was playing yesterday, a Karaoke fan’s dream come true, think 70’s awesomeness, it left me pondering the idea of love.

There are so many aspects to love. When you’re young, the idea of falling in love is magical. It’s like a fairytale. It seems as easy as tripping over a rock. You fall and there it is. You’re in love. In reality, you trip over a rock and fall all right, but it’s not always magical. Love is a lot more than puppies and rainbows. It’s not a feeling, it’s a choice.

But what does love really mean to you? In the dictionary, there are 14 noun definitions and 7 verb definitions ranging from having affection for someone to a tennis score. Ok, reality is what love is can really vary. And so back to my question, what does love mean to you? That’s the question to ask yourself, to ask your spouse, your children…because love can feel different, look different, show up different to each one of those people.

And we have to learn how to love them. It doesn’t come inherently. It comes through learning what makes someone feel loved, what shows them that you care. It’s an ongoing process because it can change. It’s The Five Love Languages but amplified because it can change.

After coffee yesterday, I went to yoga which is a great place to ponder and let my mind wander. In my own journey, I think a lot about learning to love myself, accept myself – especially my body. Even as I write that, it’s interesting because I say “my body.” Stepping back and looking at it, who else’s body would it be? No, it is mine. Except that my body is me. Again…my body is ME, your body is YOU. Why do many of us feel the need to call it out as something else, to claim it like a possession? Why do we not just say me or myself? We are a whole person. This brain of ours is going nowhere fast without a body.

So how have you learned to love your body, to love yourself? How do we bridge the gap between seeing our body as something that’s part of what we possess and fully integrating our body, our mind, our soul? I know I sometimes look at my body as something I have to control. I’ll think “my hair is out of control,” or random negative thoughts about the acts of betrayal parts of my body is executing against me.

Laying on my yoga mat yesterday I made a choice. To work harder at learning to love my body, myself. I’d encourage you to try it with me. For me, it’s starting with how I think about it. Having more compassion for my body, for all its/I’ve been through. Showing it/me more understanding. How about you? If you have something you do to show yourself – your complete self – love and understanding, share it in the comments. Let’s share the journey together.

April 30, 2017

Slow Down

As I write this, I’m sitting on a plane returning from a trip to Cancun that hel Cancun Beach ped me see life clearer. I’d never been there and on the way down, my husband and I talked about the activities we wanted to do, snorkeling, Chichen Itza, Tulum, Isla Mujeres…so many options! We chose to spend our arrival afternoon by the pool, enjoying the beautiful oceanside setting, amazing.

First day rolls around, and we’re TIRED! Exhausted really, like in a fog. Ok, so one more day by the pool, just to settle in. That afternoon, we cruised by the activities desk and signed up for 3 days’ worth of activities. The rest of the day cont
inued to be relaxing, and we even jumped into a Salsa lesson that night…Aye Aye!

Day two, what the heck? Still soooo tired! Even so, we ventured up the hotel row, did a litt skyrider cancun le flea market shopping, tried another hotel for lunch and then moseyed our way to the Sky Rider – a tandem para-sail type device that flew us high above the hotels and lagoon of Cancun. So beautiful! Got back to the hotel, exhausted, and chose to go to the pool again. By now, you’re getting the picture. We also signed up for a couples massage, yeah baby!

We did our big excursion on day three – Chichen Itza. It was amazing..a great tour with lots of history. We swam in a Cenote – an underground spring, and I was convinced I’d gotten younger! It was a loooong day though. 7 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. When we got back, I asked my husband if we could skip the excursions we planned for the rest of the week. He’s so awesome, he agreed. Truthfully, all I wanted to do was lay by the pool, sleep and read, basically just hang out with my husband.

The thing is, this may not seem like a big deal. But, I’ve always been wired to push, to stay active, to get the most out of every minute of every day. What I realized on this trip was that I’d been operating at a fairly high level of stress for a long time. As I decompressed, I noticed that I got more tired before I started to feel refreshed. It was an interesting awareness. Sort of like when you do a detox of your body, sometimes you feel worse before you feel better because the toxins have to leave your body. That’s how it was with stress. The decompression comes in stages and the tiredness you’ve suppressed catches up to you.

When Jenga we were getting our hot stone massage, so delightful by the way, I prayed to hear God’s will. That is what I meditated on. Loud and clear what came to me was to SLOW DOWN. And that word stuck with me. I run through life so quickly that sometimes I don’t take the time to slow down and really enjoy it.

So…here’s how the trip played out…laid by the pool, played bingo, read a couple books, we took Samba lessons, rediscovered our mad Connect Four and Jenga skills (32 level tower thank you very much), watched a circus-like performance and karaoke, met wonderful people, slept…and worked on relaxing. I can say that all-inclusive was the way to go, it also had the benefit of allowing us to have to make very few decisions…like…eggs? omelet? pancakes? That was a tough one. Not having to make a lot of decisions helped the relaxing. Everything we needed was at our fingertips, the staff was amazing, it’s the only way to travel!

I wished we could have stayed until I was tired of being on vacation, but that day didn’t come. What I know is that slowing down may be my focus for the rest of the year. Finding ways to have more meaningful experiences instead of ones I only get the cliff notes version of. I’d encourage you to look at your own life, your own stress level. Just because you may be good at managing stress doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Your body, your emotions, possibly your relationships all pay the price. Is there something you need to let go of, a shift you need to make to find more fulfillment in the aspects of life that matter? Want to talk about it? You know where to find me. I’m here, with more time for what matters, which is helping you, helping me, find the most fulfillment and purpose out of the time we have so that we can truly engage with those we love and care about.

February 19, 2017

A choice to make…

I’ve talked about it before, and it’s no surprise to those who know me. I am a creature of habit. I mean, big time. I create processes for things I do regularly, each step is part of the experience. And the “experience” is a big deal for me. As in, I shop at Whole Foods because I like the “experience.” I wander, I look at interesting products, I taste different samples, the people are nice, and unique. I don’t care if some products are more expensive, I am about the experience.

Yesterday morning, I went for an early swim. I swim during the week, but it’s early, and dark. Saturday mornings, I can go a little later (as if 7 a.m. is late, but later than my normal time). It’s light out, quiet…an awesome way to start the day. I even get to be a little hopped up on caffeine since I’ve been up for a while. Amazing how that gives me more energy! I go to Starbucks, get coffee and a water which I take with me and have poolside to drink during my workout. I get to the gym, ready to go…cap on, earplugs in, goggles on, swim watch ready to count my laps, water, game on.

So as I started swimming, about one lap in, it dawned on me. No water. I’d left in in my car. Routine disrupted.

I usually swim for about an hour and I had a choice to make.

I could continue swimming but be thinking about how stupid I was for not remembering my water. Lamenting the entire time about how, “once again,” I’d done something dumb.

I could get angry. Swim ruined. Can’t continue without water so I’ll just pack up my toys and go home.

I could accept it, rationalizing that I wouldn’t die of thirst in an hour. The pool wasn’t the Sahara desert.

I could be thankful that I’d have water in the car when I was done.

I could see it as an opportunity – as a positive because, honestly, drinking more water after the coffee I had was likely to make me have to take a nature break in the middle of my swim.

I could “become one” with the water and know that the water I inadvertently consumed as it got in my mouth while I breathed would do the job.

I chose to keep swimming. Adjusting my routine, not beating myself up, thankful I wouldn’t have to take a break in the middle of my swim. And everything worked out. It continued to be a beautiful, peaceful morning and I didn’t die of thirst.

But that’s not always the choice I’ve made. I’ve beat myself up. I’ve gotten angry. There have been times when I’ve questioned whether I really swam at all because I didn’t have my Garmin telling me how many yards I had. In reality, what good did that do me? None. Why would I get so worked up over the little things?

The choices we make about how to respond to what life presents us creates our “experiences.” We can choose responses that move the experience forward, or choose to respond in a way that propels us into a negative death spiral and ruins the experience.

These days, I choose “move the experience forward.” That hasn’t always been the case. It’s taken a bit of work to get there, but my life is different because I can now enjoy experiences just as they are. It takes work to stay in that mindset, but it’s worth it. I encourage you to look at what you choose – do you move forward or do you get stuck? If you’re stuck and want to move forward, I’d love to work with you, because I choose forward and know that you can too!

January 8, 2017

On being a princess

be-brave-be-bold Being a princess, it’s many little girls’ dream, right? For me, it would be about the dress, the fancy, the luxury, the elegance of it all. The dream of it is how I would feel in the moment. Peace, joy, love, feeling like I matter…the self-worth thing. The princess part is just a bonus, it’s a life of ease, in my story it would be free of conflict, of pain, of anxiety and stress. Don’t we all want that? It might look different to you than it does to me, but it’s still there, it’s the ideal, the perfect life.

But life isn’t perfect. None of us are perfect…me at the top of the list. The princess life looks perfect, but I would imagine it’s not, it just looks that way. And so we aspire to something that’s not even real, because the princess is a person, a not perfect person like the rest of us.

And yet, what if we could have our ideal life in spite of ourselves? In spite of our missteps, our mistakes, of the things that make us people, quite honestly. I think we can, and we can by understanding that we’re not perfect. That we’re imperfect, that others are imperfect, and we’re all doing the best we can. I believe God made us that way, and He is the only one who is perfect.

So what would it look like, that perfect life of yours? How can you start living it today? What is holding you back? Well, one thing that holds us back is the past. All the crap, quite honestly, that has happened in life, that we keep bringing into the present. The pain, resentment, angst… you know, the life you’ve been living. What good is that doing you today? To get to the life you want today, you have to make a choice to bring forward the lessons, the wisdom, but not the baggage from the past. Too often we recreate the past pain in our heads over and over and it keeps us from the life we want today. So, step one, look at the story book in your mind, if you need to, write the stories down, and then get rid of them. Give them up. They don’t serve you anymore.

Now look at your life today. What feelings do you want to have today? What is going to bring those feelings into your life? Me? I still visualize the princess life. But in my story, the princess isn’t perfect and that’s ok. Part of being happy in the present is learning to stop judging behaviors, thoughts, actions as right and wrong. That’s not my job. It’s not any of our jobs. Judgement is about the stuff inside of us, not about other people. I know for myself, I catch myself judging right and wrong, good and bad. That’s something I’m choosing to ditch. It’s a lot of work and it doesn’t move me, or my relationships with others, forward. Judging myself is just beats me up. What good does that do? None. Step two, look at the feelings you want, think about them, pray, meditate about them, and create those in your life.

The glass slipper, the sudden transformation into the princess life? Prince Char Print ming? It’s a story. In our lives, we have to make the choice to bring what we want into our lives. We create our own stories, our own paths, our own lives. Those paths look different for everyone, and that’s not only ok, it’s awesome. Create your own story, your own awesomeness. If I can do it, and I’m working on it, you can too. And if you want help, that’s ok too. Sometimes it’s helpful to have someone else be your mirror, to reflect back to you what your inner wisdom already knows. Asking for help is not weakness, it’s strength, it’s a reflection of your desire to create the life you want. If you’re reading this and want that “mirror,” that help, reach out to me, be brave. As a coach, I don’t have the answers, you do, but I can help you discover them and move towards the life you want, that feeling you want, and you can have it today.

November 20, 2016

Is time on your side?

running-time Time. Is there ever enough of it? I’ve become conscious of how much energy I spend managing my time. It’s crazy really. I have all this stuff in my head that I absolutely must get done. I allow myself to feel stressed out about it and then spend more time figuring out how to get it done. What I really want is to feel like I have all the time I need but that doesn’t seem to happen.

What if there was another way? If you had all the time you wanted, think about the possibilities! Right now, I’m stuck in feeling like time is something I fight against to get things done. I think the “things” dictate my day, not my decisions. What I’d like to do is get to stop stressing about it because that just causes me more anxiety and negative energy overall.

So what’s the plan, Lisa? Good question. First thing is to acknowledge that, in reality, there are very few things that actually “have” to get done. When I hold up the mirror, I’m looking for the personal value that’s driving my behavior. For me, I think my value of responsibility is calling the shots. Responsibility is fine when it’s used “for good not evil” as I like to say. But if the responsibility is due to a fear of what will happen if I’m not “responsible” it’s overstepped the boundary.

Back to the plan. What can I do, what can anyone do, to move to a reality where time really is “on our side,” not the common enemy? Make a list. Yeah, super simple, not brain surgery. But one thing I’ve learned recently is that the more stuff I try to hold in my head, the less space I have for creative things, activities that bring me energy. I’m not only managing my time, I’m managing all the stuff in my head. I’ve fought lists too, but am learning that I forget and then have to spend time working backwards until I remember what I was supposed to do, or miss stuff. So step 1, lists, I can do that today.

What about this week, what can I do this week? Thanksgiving is coming up. Lots to do, legitimately. But I can look at what needs to be done and determine if I’m actually the one who needs to do it. My son can make mashed potatoes. The house doesn’t have to be spotless. I can let some things go. Ok, step 2, let stuff go.

Looking farther out, what else, what would be a longer term goal – the ideal goal? Keep the lists, look at the pattern of how I’m spending time. Make decisions on what needs to stay and what can go. As part of that, resist the temptation to fill the time with more “stuff.” Instead, for me, I want to build in time to “just be.” To spend time in self-care, in relationship, with friends, with family. That time? Well that’s time well spent.

I don’t think my fight against time is uncommon, so if you’re facing a similar battle, look at these simple steps for yourself. What value is driving you? What can you do today? What will you do next week? What’s your longer term goal? It doesn’t have to be hard and if you start today, like I am, you’ll be rockin’ by Christmas! Time will be on your side.

October 16, 2016

Emotions are not for sissies

mood-swing I think being “emotional” gets a bad rap. Granted, I’m a girl, so I have more leeway to be emotional, but even so, they’re not always accepted, especially the negative ones. Anger, frustration, irritation…sadness…grief I think you get away with if you have a reason people understand, but grief over the loss of a relationship, for example, no go. And crying? Geez, it’s trouble in the making. Don’t do it at work, bottle it up, make it go away, don’t let anyone see you…oh wait, maybe those are just my experiences.

But the thing is, I AM emotional. I’ve spent the last 48 years 364 days bottling all of it up though. There have been periods where it came out and even I couldn’t explain or understand it. Crying that would never end. That was a few years ago, a forgettable phase I think many women this age could understand and happily live without. For the most part though, I’ve tried to be bright and sunny, but I’m not, at least not all the time. I’ll start to cry but then use all my secret ninja tricks to try and make it stop. Stuff it down. Ladies, am I alone in this?

Over the last year, I’ve tried to get better at letting myself have emotion, acknowledge it and not just brush it away. It’s been marginally successful. Rarely do I let myself have a good cry. Really though what is that? A good cry? Seems counter intuitive. If I start to feel angry, I’ll play with it a little bit, but there’s no monster coming out. But I need to let myself feel emotion. As I’ve gone through my coaching training, part of it, as I think I’ve talked about, is looking at your own stuff, your own crap I like to say. Helpful, incredibly helpful, but exhausting. It’s a non-stop barrage of processing emotion. Ah-ha’s are great, but it’s often a fist fight with myself to get there.

I think we often don’t acknowledge how hard it can be to process emotion, to have and feel emotion. When I used to ride my bike a lot, I rode with a group and I remember this one ride where my friend was trying to explain to me how to keep up with the guys. She said that sometimes you have to practically turn yourself inside out with effort, leave it all on the road. I think that’s how processing emotions can be at times. I think part of why I started riding my bike in the first place was to escape having to feel emotions, to process them, I just rode away from them, at least for that day. Not the healthiest from an emotional standpoint, but I did get a lot of relief, endorphin’s are a great thing.

Yesterday I was talking through some tough stuff with someone I care about, and it was hard, good, but hard. Today…I feel raw…like I’ve turned myself inside out. That same feeling as doing it in a physical sense during a hard effort. I worked hard to be transparent, to stay in the space, to share my heart instead of saying I was “fine.” Again, all good stuff, stuff that can bring people close together, but not for sissies. Stuff you fight your way through, fight with yourself and that instinct to keep bottled up vs. the freedom of just expressing.

I think to fail to recognize how hard it can be to process emotion is to undercut ourselves. There’s no right or wrong way, per se, to process emotion. We all do it in our own way. But if your way was like my way, stuff it down, I’m here to tell you that won’t last forever. Taking the time to understand yourself, to be brave and talk about how you feel, even if the only person you’re telling is yourself, well that’s worth it. You are worth it. You might feel like you left part of you on the side of the road, and maybe you did, but that’s often a good thing, don’t let it stop you and don’t turn back for it. I’m right there with you.

October 9, 2016

Big Brave Post

just-being-is-fun It’s no secret that I’m becoming a certified life coach. Amazing program! But here’s the thing about it, to coach others, you have to deal with your stuff. What I’m finding is the more I deal with it, the more I realize about myself. So it’s a combo of “Yay!” and “Oh, crap.”

Not dissimilar to anyone else, as I’ve moved through life, I’ve had experiences from which I create thoughts about the world and thoughts about myself. We get messages from the people who are close to us and from the world around us about what’s “expected.” But how each of us hears those messages is different, and unique, depending on our own circumstances. The message I “heard” which really means the message I interpreted, was “be strong.”

It seems like too easy of an answer, but I think a lot of that comes from having had my foot amputated when I was 4. I was blessed that my family and really my friends never treated me like I was any different than anyone else. Except that, I was. So, although not consciously, I set about proving that to be true. Because my “difference” was external, I tried to show through my physical self that I was not only normal, whatever that is, but that I could do whatever I wanted to do. And really, I have. I’ve had amazing adventures on my bike, last year I decided to start walking half marathons and then a full marathon, then I took up open water swimming… all of which was awesome.

But in my head, I never hit the bar. Each time I’d accomplish something, the bar would move. I’d set a higher goal, thinking that if I’d already, for example, ridden 100 miles, that riding 200 seemed like a better idea, because that would really prove something. To who though? To me? In theory I suppose.

Stick with me because here was the punch in the gut. It doesn’t seem like this should have taken me 49 years to figure out, but it did. What I’ve done, what I set out to do, that’s not who I am. When I project that version of myself, the tough, strong self, people don’t really get to know me, the me that’s on the inside. I get that the external stuff is part of who I am, and I’ve had some great experiences. But it is only part of me. It’s the bright and shiny that distracts me from really embracing who I am on the inside. To some degree, it’s the “on stage” version of me. Making myself feel like I’m “on stage” all the time is exhausting…and I do it to myself…no one else really expects it and they don’t get to know the real me, the backstage version.

So here’s the big brave part. I’m setting a new goal. It’s to just be. To not prove. To acknowledge to myself that I’m squishy. That parts of me may not seem normal, but they’re normal to me. I’m not always tough, and that’s ok. I don’t need to keep raising the bar. God knew I’d turn out like, He created me like this. If it’s ok for Him, it’s going to be ok for me too.

What would that look like for you? To just be? Try it, be brave. I believe you’ll find you’re pretty amazing.

September 10, 2016

The Wonder Woman Inside Me

Let’s b wonder_woman_linda_carter_p e honest, for those of us who grew up in the 70’s, Wonder Woman was awesome. She had mystical powers, the Lasso of Truth, those cool bracelets, and the tiara. I can’t forget the awesome costume she donned when she headed out to kick some bad guy butt. I think a lot of women, secretly and not so secretly, think that they’re Wonder Woman. She could do it all, nobody could stop her, all while holding down a day job.

I’ll admit, I’m drawn to Wonder Woman because of the outfit and tiara. Being honest. I also like to tell myself that I can be like Wonder Woman. I can do it all, no one can stop me. Except here’s the thing, it’s a lot of work. I say yes to people, yes to myself, why yes I can do 3 half marathons in as many days, yes I will crush my body with a workout and get back up and do it again, yes, I will take on that extra work. I mean, really, that’s just what you do. That’s the expectation I created for myself. Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and make a BLT.

But back to Wonder Woman for a minute. She could do it all, or could she? She is in the Justice League and had her super hero friends to lean on when she needed help. Even if she didn’t need help, she recognized that there were other people who could get the job done better, faster, safer, so that she could tackle the bigger fish in her pond. My opinion is that Wonder Woman’s hidden strength was that she would ask for help and she could say no.

And I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit, not Wonder Woman exactly, but being able to say no. I’ll admit, not a fan. Here was my recent struggle. I really did sign up (in April) to do the 3 half marathon’s in 3 days. It’s coming up soon, beginning of October. But, as I get older, my body is resisting me more. And I don’t like that. I want to be invincible. Last week though, I couldn’t stop thinking about this race. Thinking how I could do it, but it would leave a mark. One would be fine, but 3 would hurt, and some hurt is ok, expected even, but not hurt to the point where I knew in advance it would not be my smartest move. Would not be the best for my health. Would leave me tired for a while. The voice in my head told me to suck it up, not be a quitter. Reminded me that I paid good money to do the races, most of which I would not get back, and only some of which I would get in the form of a deferral to next year’s race.

All these thoughts were swirling in my head and I actually felt slightly nauseous as I went online and dropped 2 of the races. It’s done. And the world didn’t end. Except that I’m telling you, no one even really knows. The funny thing is, after a couple days, I actually felt stronger inside. I realized that sometimes the strongest thing I can do is say no. No to the wrong things so I have more time and energy for the right things. And more and more, the right things have to do with people. Spending time with my tribe, my family, my friends, those I care deeply about. Saying yes to focusing on people brings me a lot longer lasting joy than events which I love and still will do, but which have a day-long instead of lifelong impact.

So back to Wonder Woman. She rocked it and in my mind, she rocked it because she knew where her strengths lie and built on that. I’m seeing that there’s strength in not being invincible, so today, I’m embracing that – and feeling oddly stronger. I think that’s because we all have a little Wonder Woman inside of us.

September 4, 2016

Lane Lines or Open Water?

I’ve mentioned it before, but I am a swimmer. And if you’re a swimmer, you know that lap swimming involves staring at the bottom of the pool for however long you’re out there. In the lane where I swim, and in most lap pools, there’s a line at the bottom of the pool that, in my case, helps me make sure I’m swimming straight. Given that my swimming can be a little bit crazy at times, I value the line, keeps me on the right path.

But I also swim in open water. When I swim at the lake, I think that a GPS picture of my swim would look like a squiggly line. I sight often and try to stay straight, but for the life of me, that doesn’t seem to happen. I veer to the right, then the left, but never really in a straight line. Now, I like doing things right, which in this case would mean swimming straight, but if I’m being honest, I’d have to say that I really like swimming in the open water. It’s always beautiful, the air is fresh, no chlorine and I’m outside, which I would rather be any time. The factors I love tend to outweigh the fact that I feel like I must look like I’ve been drinking and that there could be sharks…ok not really, but I still think about it.

I’ve been thinking about swimming compared to the way I operate in my day to day life. Gotta say, my set point is to follow the line. I follow the rules. I want others to follow the rules. I play the responsible card, all…the…time. Sure, it’s predictable and there is some comfort in that. For anyone, right? You operate in the comfort zone, play small, stay safe. Ends up being tasks before people. Before you know it, you’re living in a super clean, organized, house, all your bills are paid, you’re doing well at work, but you wake up one day to realize you are bored and…alone.

With the straight line, you get stuff done. In the pool, I’ll crank out my yards. Back and forth, the p Underwater lane lines.jpg.opt479x270o0,0s479x270 predictable path. Open water? I’m zigging and zagging and don’t swim as far as in the pool, but it’s so beautiful! Open water is where the adventure is. And I’m realizing that I want that for my life. I want the open water. I want to explore. To take the unknown road and discover something I may have never found otherwise. It’s a way to find new passions, to actually, fully, experience life instead of staying in my lane. To focus on people, not tasks, and people can be zig zaggy too, but I’m willing to take that chance. To share those adventures with someone I care about, to make memories.

So I’m making that promise to myself, to live in the open water. And I’ll be honest, it scares me and really, that’s ok. I encourage you to think about your own life, where are you swimming the straight line and where are you in open water? If you’re not getting in the open water, why not try?