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Be You…Be Authentic

let go be youIt’s the time of year when people start talking about New Year’s resolutions. Changes they want to make in the new year, things they want to do, experiences they want to have or bring into their life. Lose weight, start exercising, those are likely the top vote getters from people everywhere. There’s something about the transition from one year to the next that causes us to examine our life and think about ways we can change, really ditch something that’s not working for us and try something new.

In reality, it shouldn’t take something like the new year to spark change within us, if it really needs to be made. If the desire is within us. I think that’s the process I’ve been going through this year. Making subtle shifts that have led to larger changes.

Instead, over the last month, I’ve had words rolling around in my head. Those of you who know me are well aware of my love of words. In writing, on my walls, in my head, on my wrist, I love them. They express feelings, thoughts, in a way that I sometimes don’t feel comfortable doing verbally.  There are some words that I think about more than others as time goes along. Authentic, or authenticity, is one of those for me. So much so that I’m done flirting with it. I’m ready to bring it into my life.

Instead of making a resolution, I’ve decided I’m going to focus on a word for this year. A lot of people do that, pick a word for the year. In the past I’ve done that to a small degree, Choose Happy, Be Brave…this year, it’s authentic, or said another way, Be You.

And with good cause. The changes I’ve made over the last year or so have brought clarity to me about who I am…who I want to be. It’s been a year of letting go of other’s expectations, of living for what I think I should be doing. Throw in a little bit of not being as worried about making waves with what I think, what I believe, and you’ve got the picture. When you shed the external expectations, it makes room for you to look internally.

As I do that, I feel increasingly discontent with acting in a way contrary to what I believe, with who I am. It’s about looking at my values and considering if choice A is in line with my values, or if will cause a conflict. If it causes a conflict, I need to look for a different choice. A choice that allows me to be authentic. Living authentically is somewhat a culmination of my focus for the last couple years. It requires being brave…it’s a choice that ultimately brings happiness and joy to my heart, even if that choice is hard.

For 2018, what’s your resolution, your word, your focus. Not making a choice on where you’re putting your energy is still a choice. As we wind down 2017, how will you be brave? How will you be truer to yourself in 2018? I’m looking forward to taking the journey with you.

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Both Feet In

Step in yourselfIt’s the day before Christmas, and I’m thinking about celebrating the birth of Christ. But I’m also thinking about life. Where I am today, where I’ve been and where I’m headed. I think that’s fairly normal with New Year’s right around the corner. Although I’m working on breaking this habit, I have a tendency to look at the mold I think I was formed to fit within, and compare myself to that. The expectations, the Pinterest board of everything I should be doing.

Consider Christmas. I love having my family with me. This year, I had my husband (of course), both of my adulting children, my mom and stepdad. We celebrate Christmas whenever we can get all of us together, which was this weekend. True to form, I planned out dinner, games, present time…I cooked, wrapped, cleaned…you know, basically exhausted myself. Who asked me to do that? No one! So what’s up with that??

I’m getting to my point…just stick with me.

Here’s what went down in my head throughout our celebration. I was an observer. I spend time making sure everyone was having a good time. I was in the fun, but always had one foot out because I was making sure people were fed, had drinks, and all that jazz. I think this is the female brain with traditional programming. In my case, I try, but can’t quite let myself be fully in because there’s so much to do.

I hold back. Somewhat afraid, I think, to really let go and just be in the moment. To step into the flow. It’s years of oldest child programming…if you are one, like me, you know what I’m talking about. So…much…responsibility. You get it.

Deep breath.

In this midst of all this, I saw this Brian Andres painting/quote and it stopped me. It rolled around in my head and brought me back to the journey I’ve been on for all of 2017. To just be. To step into myself, to love myself just as I am, and to do that not because of what I do, but because of who I am. Put achievements aside and just love the person.

What is that so hard??? Why do I fall back into the mode of performing so easily? Because the truth of it is that it takes away from relaxing into the person I am. I think Brian Andres has it right when he says,

“…You may not even notice how quickly you forget all the years you spend being afraid of exactly this.” That’s where I am. Asking myself what I’m afraid of that keeps me from being exactly who God created me to be. Stepping into living his purpose, which includes, for one, enjoying and being with my family.

What does all that mean for me? If you’re on this journey too, what does it mean for you? What is it that tugs at your heart, makes it flutter, brings you joy? That thing that we always tell…I’ll do that tomorrow. I’ll do it when… Why not today?

I don’t think it’s about resolutions. It’s about embracing your true self. The self God created you to be. The joy and ease that comes with it will be amazing. You still have time. As you celebrate Christmas with your family, whatever your family looks like, truly be there. Step in with both feet. People will still get fed. Dishes will get done. Gifts will get wrapped, or maybe they won’t – that’s why we have bags, stick it in, no one will really care. Christmas is about celebrating Christ’s birth and doing that with our families. The family you are a part of, not a bystander to. Let go of expectation and just be with those you love. To be your true self is brave, it’s the person you were made to be. We get to wake up each day and choose to step into that person. Together.

Love to you this Christmas my friends.

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Take a deep breath

Calm your mindI have to say that yesterday was a banner productivity day. My house looked like a bomb went off there was so much clutter and disarray. That may not phase you, and that’s ok, but for me, it’s no bueno. If my environment isn’t peaceful, calm and organized, it’s likely to leave me feeling scattered. Unable to start anything because I don’t know where to begin. That’s why I normally keep my house show ready. It may not be sparkling clean, but it’s picked up. I’m a believer in “a place for everything and everything in its place.”

But I’ve noticed that my mind feels scattered more of the time than I’d like to admit, and I’m not a fan. I find myself craving quiet time. Down time to do things that make me happy, bring me energy. Maybe it’s hanging out with my husband, painting, writing, or reading. As I’ve gotten older, I need that time more and more.

If you’re a student of mindfulness, to any degree, you understand that slowing our brain down, resting it, actually increases our productivity, our ability to process cognitively, and can increase our creativity, to name just a few benefits. I find when I don’t have time to slow down, I end up with frenetic energy…frazzled, overwhelmed. I crave time. So why don’t I make that that time part of my normal day?

It’s not a priority. Well, actually it is, but somehow I let other priorities win. Right now it’s cleaning, organizing, rearranging, wrapping, decorating (ok, maybe not too much on that last one, but just saying…I do have the nagging feeling I should be). But of all those things I listed, none have the benefit that taking down time does. When I take that time, I feel peaceful, recharged.

What happens is that I don’t prioritize self-care. And I know I’m not alone in that. Can I get an amen? But I’m learning that if I skip out on it, if I don’t prioritize self-care, my energy for everything else might be there, but it’s distracted energy. So, basically, I’m phoning it in. Going through the motions. I’ve read it’s like pouring from an empty cup. If your own cup is empty, you can’t pour out to other people.

The temptation at this time of the year is to skip our self-care, our down time, our moments of mindfulness. My ask of you, and of me, is that instead of skipping, to make it one of your top priorities. Spending time connecting and taking care of yourself will prepare you, enable you, to take better care of others. And we do a lot of that all year long.

You are amazing, you matter, you make a difference…take time to honor yourself, to rest, to do what makes you happy and restores you…pamper yourself. Postpone tasks in order to be. You can do it, you are brave.

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To decorate or not decorate?

ChristmasChristmas is 15 days away and I haven’t decorated my house yet. By not decorated, I mean not…one…little…bit. No garland, no wreath, no lights, nothing, nada. And I celebrate Christmas. It’s not like I’m a non-celebrater. I will be celebrating Christ’s birth. So why is it I’m feeling like a bad person for not decorating?

Once again…it’s other people. No one in particular, just the sense that the rest of my family, friends, my neighborhood, even the Starbucks where I’m sitting to write this, are all in. The “story” I tell myself is that I’m lazy, not a good person for not decorating. Any good Christmas celebrating person would have the boughs of holly, decked the halls and the tree and be singing silent night so many times they’re doing it in their sleep.

Do you see it? It’s the the story in my head creeping up again. Everyone is doing it. If you’re not doing it, you’re lazy, you must not really celebrate Christmas.  But that’s not the truth. Instead, it’s an unsuspecting way that we can beat ourselves down. I’ve talked about it before, the way that looking at the world, at “what everyone else is doing,” creates negative messages that invade our minds. My frequent loop is about my body, but those messages come through in many different ways. It could be about your body, your role as a wife, your parenting, your career…really, it’s those messages that start with “should,” and leave a train wreck of emotions leading us to feeling like we’re less of a person for whatever it is we’re not doing.

I’d like to be able to suggest an easy way out of this loop, but there isn’t one. Instead, it takes practice, just like anything else. It takes sitting in the space where you are and looking at the truth instead of those messages in your head. This is a time of the year when there are a lot of pressures to be “all that” to everyone. Buy the gifts, send the cards, decorate the house, plan and prepare a great meal, all while keeping up your daily life, basically be “all that and a bag of chips.” The impossible standard I say, at least impossible if you want to maintain your sanity and enjoy the reason we celebrate Christmas.

What would it look like if spent time thinking about what is really important to you and your most important relationships this Christmas season? Choose to do what is important, what holds meaning for you. Maybe it is decorating, but it may be spending time with people you love. Or it could be serving other people, showing them love. Maybe it really is decorating and if it is, that’s awesome! Honestly, I’ll probably decorate too, but I want it to match what I’m feeling on the inside, creating space to truly celebrate and love on my husband, children and family.

Will you take a minute to look at the path you’re on and consider if you’re going to arrive at Christmas frazzled and exhausted? If you are, consider making a shift in the path your on so that you will wake up on Christmas morning rested, thankful and ready to enjoy celebrating Christ’s birth. Going against what “everyone,” is doing isn’t always easy – especially in our minds – but choosing a purposeful path is authentic, it’s brave. And so are you.

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Shame is not welcome here

Beautifully brokenOver Thanksgiving, we traveled to Florida to spend time with my side of the family. They are a wonderful, fun, crazy at times, group and we had an awesome time. It was a holiday, so it only made sense to bring a couple pieces of my nicer jewelry with me, including a bracelet with enormous sentimental value. Because of their value, I wore them on the plane both directions…I didn’t want them to get lost or taken from my luggage. Makes sense, right?

On the way home, we had an early flight and I took a little snooze when we got on the plane. Once I woke up, I settled in to watch The Proposal, which I honestly could watch 100 times. I love it and laugh every time. I casually reached down to feel my bracelet on my wrist…and felt…nothing.

The blood drained from my face as I started feeling more frantically and quickly realized it wasn’t there. I started shaking, thinking I might be sick, and panicked, I mean, really panicked. “I don’t know what to do,” is all I could say, over and over. I knew I’d double checked the clasp that morning. As I started to search, it was as though someone pushed play on the shame tape in my mind.

You don’t deserve nice things.

You can’t be trusted with nice things.

You’re not worth it.

You have disappointed your parents (who gave me the bracelet)

Over and over…

At the same time, I tried to override those thoughts, telling myself, “it’s just a thing,” but the voice in my head screamed that it was not.

I prayed, God please let me see where it is, let me focus.

Nothing. Still feeling sick, having torn apart my area in the middle seat, going through my bag, having my husband go through the bag, and my son for good measure, nothing. With nothing else to do, I returned to The Proposal, and wasn’t able to laugh at all the scenes I normally would, well, except one. Who wouldn’t laugh when they accidentally walk into each other, naked, and flip out. Again, funny every time.

About an hour before the flight ended, the window seat guy got up and I searched that area, nothing. My husband pulled his seat cushion off all the way and even though I’d felt behind mine, I did the same. And lying on a thin metal strip beneath the cushions, was my bracelet. It had broken. After thanking God for revealing it, I felt a flood of stress leave my body.

I thought then and think now about my initial reaction, shame storm that erupted in my head, louder than ever. Not the first time I’d heard those words in my mind and they started very quickly. Far more accessible than I would have thought. In coaching, we call that the gremlin voice. The voice that keeps you small, that plays on your fear, or things you’ve come to believe, that develops over the years. I thought I’d worked through it, but apparently not entirely. The truth is, some of those messages shape how I live my life today. I don’t feel comfortable buying many nice things, I don’t feel worth it. Disappointing anyone is a nightmare to me.

Sitting there on that plane, the voice made me feel stupid, careless, like I’d done something wrong.

But I hadn’t, and I wasn’t. Even if it had gotten lost, though I would have felt sick, it didn’t mean I was stupid, or that I couldn’t be trusted with nice things, or was a bad person. It just meant it had gotten lost, I would have still been sad, but not worthless.

How do we get to that truth in the middle of the megaphone blast in our heads? That is the trick. Prayer, breathing, telling yourself the truth. Knowing that a mistake doesn’t make us a bad person, doesn’t define our worth. Knowing that I am not alone, particularly among women, in going to this dark place at times makes me want to embrace others with these words of truth.

You are worthy

You deserve happiness and joy – and nice things

You are not a disappointment

Believe it my friend. Stop the shame tape, it is not true. You are beautiful, you are loved and you are brave.

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Authenticity – Sharing the real you

the struggleI had a conversation with a group of friends the other day about a struggle one was having with infertility. One of the things we talked about was how alone she felt. How nobody really talks about the struggle and how difficult it is. This led us to talking about another who experienced post-partum depression. I, of course, talked about the joys menopause. All female struggles, but significant in their own right.

The conversation wasn’t one of complaining, but of acknowledgement that nearly every one of us has “stuff.” And while we’re a small slice of the population, I believe we’re fairly representative. People going through life looking normal on the outside (whatever that is), but who have stuff. But we don’t talk about it…and sometimes we need to. Believing that we have shared stories, shared aspects of our lives, creates a feeling of belonging, which we all desire, whether we admit it or not. Lone wolfs are may be that way by choice, but I believe that choice may be the result of hurt and fear from past experiences exposing themselves to others. Or of pain from what happened when they were open and vulnerable.

So why do we hide our struggles?  Sometimes it’s because we don’t want to be seen as complaining. Seeking mutual support isn’t complaining, it’s human. We are designed to come together and support each other. Staying silent, alone…we’re not meant to live that way. When we’re isolated that’s when struggle really begins. We feel alone when in fact there are others, likely others within our own peer group, who are faced with the same thing. And whatever we’re feeling is more difficult alone.

When we are open about what we’re going through, when we take that step, and connect with people who are like us, it normalizes our struggle. It helps us to see that we’re not alone. We’re part of a larger community, one who helps us with what we’re going through. It can be scary to take that step, but it’s no critical, and so worth it.

So at this time of year when we come together with family, think about who you need to come together with to share those hidden areas of your life. Yep, I get that could be the scary step, it involves exposing yourself to someone else. But the reward can be so great, like air after holding your breath. Having others to share your struggle won’t make it go away, but it will help you realize you’re not alone.

And you’ll be doing the same for someone else. Someone who equally needs support and who will be thankful for you. In the end, you may find the gift you give someone else through sharing is greater than you could imagine.

It starts with taking the first step. Are in you in? I believe in you and you are not alone. Be brave today.

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Authenticity in real life

Confessions-2I’m continuing to think about authenticity, still flowing over from last week. That’s the thing about it, when you set your focus on authenticity, you look for it in all areas of your life. But there’s a balance, I think, between authenticity and showing up well.

Here’s how it played out in my house last night. Long week and before I went home, I ran some errands and stopped by Whole Foods to get dinner for me and my husband. By the time I got home, I was hungry, not a good start. I walked into the house thinking that all I wanted to do was put on cozy clothes and eat dinner. But then I did the house scan. Some of you might know what I mean. The glance around your surroundings where you see every dish, spot, paper and dust bunny that needs to be cleaned up or put away. I’m wired in a way where I can’t relax until everything is done. As part of the scan, I see my husband who got home ahead of me, on the couch, watching TV. And I’m bugged. The conversation in my head was (read at an increasing pace here…) why didn’t he do all that stuff when he got home because it had to get done and how could he just watch TV with all that stuff to do?!?

What came out of my mouth was, “hey,” and then I started to do the stuff. Not gladly, but irritated. And he knew. Oh, they always know. I’d like to say I pulled my head out…but I didn’t, at least not for a little bit. Nice entrance, Lisa.

So I was authentic…but I didn’t show up well. Authenticity is about being who you are, being comfortable with yourself, feeling brave to stand on your feet knowing you’re showing people who you truly are, not who you think they expect you to be. Being authentic is also being human and realizing that we are not perfect. In the same way that we are striving to be our authentic self, so are others around us. My husband and I are not wired the same. He says it would be boring if we were. I know I should agree, but really…what a clean house we’d have (side note…my husband actually is very clean…he’s home dusting for me while I write this…our timing is just different)!

Today, I’ve thought a lot about that interaction last night. Each of us struggle with different things, one of mine is that evenings are a roll of the dice for my mood. I am a morning person through and through, more creative, more energy, more talkative (once I get up and going). Evenings, I’m tired, exhausted, talked out. In thinking about last night, and other similar interactions, I realized that the person who showed up at my house really wasn’t my authentic self. I wasn’t showing up how I believe I am in my heart. And I didn’t like that reality.

What do you do about that? The first step is realizing that it’s even happening. I’m working on being authentic and that means pulling in the true parts of me even when I’m cranky. In fact, I may need to pull them in even more when I’m off center because I need the steadying force that those characteristics give me. And I think it’s also letting go of pride enough to say, “I’m not showing up how I’d like to, forgive me and can we start over.” Your partner, your close friends, they know you’re off even if you don’t say a thing.

I like to remind myself of something I said a few weeks ago, “once you let go of perfection, you can be good.” Authentic is good, but it’s not perfect. Authentic balances with human. Authentic is brave.

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Thoughts on authenticity

authenticityLately I’ve been thinking about what it means to me to be authentic. Through the years, I believe I’ve been a lot of different things. I’ve had the drive to be successful in business and I’ve taken a step back in my career. I’ve been a good mom, likely a questionable mom at times too. A daughter, a wife. A cyclist, a swimmer. A girl who loves clothes, and fashion, and shoes. I’ve been a lot of other things too, I’m sure. But through all of that, to some degree, I was being who I was “supposed” to be.

You see, it was all a front. Choosing to show up and behave, perform, exist like I thought I was supposed to. And that can be a lot different than what my inside was telling me to be. That place deep inside me that whispers, the one that tells me to be brave. Yet a lot of the time, it’s easier to show up like I’m supposed to than how I’m really feeling, fly under the radar. Those times maybe I was a questionable mom, for example? Most likely was when I showed up more like what I felt like on the inside, not what the world was telling me to be, questionable to the world, but not to me.

We all do it, I think. Put on a persona that helps us get along in the world. And yet, somewhere along the way, if we’re not careful, we start to lose track of who we are and what’s really important to us. We lose our grasp on our authentic selves. And think about this…when we’re showing up in a way that’s not the real us, the people around us, they come to know and love that person…the one that’s not really who we are! That is a tragedy.

But when asked who we really are, who is our true, authentic self, we sometimes don’t know. We’ve spent so much time doing, performing according to what other’s expect (or what we think they expect) that we can’t really identify who we are.

I’ve been working on having my outside actions match my inside thoughts and it’s been a process. As any of you who read my blog know, it’s required pushing myself to challenge what I know and look for different answers. Truer, authentic answers. I’ve done that in a lot of areas, but one that’s lagged behind is my home. I’d like to say it represents me, but it doesn’t. It only represents snippets of me. It’s like I have decorated with reminders of who I want to be, but without the boldness of who I know I am. I haven’t allowed myself to fully step into who I am at home. My designer friend described it by saying it’s like I decorated a dorm room, sort of. Don’t have crazy thoughts, no band posters or memorabilia from my adventures, but I’ve played small. And as soon as she said that, it clicked for me and I knew it was true. I love my house, but have not really felt like it was pulled together in a way that matched me. It wasn’t authentic and that made it not as comfortable as I’d like it to be.

But that’s going to change, we’re going to work on it. Though I know that’s not the only area to be authentic. Most important is being authentic in my relationships, with my husband, my children, my family and friends. It’s that idea of letting my outside match my inside. It requires challenging myself to be true and honest with who I am, what I believe, and letting that be the person I share with the world. It requires being brave.

Is there any area of your life where you could be more authentic? Where your inside doesn’t match your outside? You only have to answer that question for yourself, but if that’s true, what are you going to do about it? Life is too short, relationships too important, to let them be less than authentic. Take the step with me towards living for who you truly are, being stronger, living out loud. I know you have it inside you. Be brave.

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Clear Vision

IMG_4141I like being crafty, creative, artsy…whatever you want to call it. For me, it’s taking time to let my thinking brain wander. To use it in a different way, exercise the other half. When I get into that space, I find myself losing track of time and feeling ‘filled up.’ It feeds something in me. So when I asked a couple girlfriends if they had interest in creating vision boards with me – because creating is more fun with friends – I was excited when they said yes.

I hadn’t created a vision board in a couple years and I led us through a warm up of sorts. Doodling – loosening up the creative mind – followed by pondering a few different areas. What do you want more of in your life? What are areas that bring you joy? What do you want to experience this year? Questions intended to get each of us thinking about the types of things we may want on our boards. What was interesting to me is that the ideas that came to me were nearly the same as what came up for me a couple years ago.

That, in and of itself, tells me something. Let’s take relationships. It’s been a focus IMG_4140 (1)and is still a focus even though they look dramatically different today than they did then. There’s been movement, but it’s still an important area for me. Another was body image, seems like that’s always a focus, but with a twist. Deep sigh.

And that’s the thing that happens in life. We sometimes think that if we just put energy into a certain area, or make changes that we can move on. But we don’t. Well…we do and we don’t. Maybe we move forward from that current dimension of the issue but like many are, it’s an onion. You have to heal, examine, or understand one layer before we can move to the next.

It’s like that with people. You can meet someone, maybe even spend a good amount of time with them, and still not fully know them. There are behaviors that you see, but that’s only the outside layer. Inside, there are beliefs, life experiences, family ‘leftovers,’ and the motivations that drive them. We can get a ‘vision’ of them from the outside, but that won’t necessarily let us ‘see’ them. It happened to me just the other night with my husband. I heard his words, saw behaviors, but didn’t understand his heart. When we finally got there, I felt like I really knew him in that moment. Behaviors and words can be a smoke screen, they don’t tell the whole story.

So, what if we had vision boards, so to speak, for the important relationships in our lives? We could focus on the layers of the onion we want to understand. Areas we want to focus on, and to learn more about. We could focus not only on that other person, but on what the relationship looks like for each of us, and what we want it to look like. We could also desire a vision of where we want to go in that relationship.

Sounds interesting? Wonder how to start? Think about what you know and what you want to know. What do you want to bring to the relationship, understand about it, learn from it? What experiences do you want in the relationship, what emotions, feelings? Here’s a big brave move…create a vision board for an important relationship and have the other person in the relationship do the same thing…and then compare them. What do you notice? Where are the differences? Similarities? Have an honest conversation about it. The vision you once had for the relationship may have changed, and that’s normal. It could change as you both change. But talk about it…that’s your brave move. I can’t wait to hear about it!

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Find your tribe

My tribeIt’s no secret to anyone who reads my blog that it’s often a tangled mess of whatever is going on in my head. Today is no different.

Life has phases…there’s the early phase when you’re still living at home, in the cocoon with your parents. Then the college/early 20’s “dumb” phase when you (maybe just me, but I doubt it) think you’re all that and a bag of chips. Living large, late nights, and FAR more…let’s just call it excitement… than anyone should ever have. For me, I dove right into marriage and motherhood right after that phase. I’d say those two things stopped the dumb phase. Thank you Jesus!

With the family comes responsibility, which means work. And I did, a lot. Climbed the later, jumped off, took a different path. Somewhere in the midst of all that though, I forgot to develop female friendships.

I had friends, but I skipped the step of staying in to dig deep. Honestly, I was the easy breezy friend. I still have a couple friends from high school and college that I could call and we’d pick right back up, and I cherish those. But the day to day, in the trenches, see me messy kind of friends, yeah…not so much.

And now…I feel the gap, and I don’t like it. I’ve spent time thinking about it and I could say that I was busy, or that I was doing ok on my own. I had enough interaction to feel connected.  But the truth is that real friendship, especially with women, requires vulnerability. THAT is something I wasn’t a fan of.

Vulnerability is what allows people to see the real you. Is it scary? Yes. But here’s the flip side. If you don’t allow yourself to be vulnerable, you can live in a space of thinking you’re alone. You’re the only one, for example, experiencing heart ache, or who have a struggling marriage, or who have feelings you don’t understand about your stage in life. And you also are alone as you experience joy.

This is where finding your tribe comes in. Yes, you have a spouse, your children, family. They are always there for you, support and love you. But your tribe hears the ugly, the crazy, listens to you lament about the state of your aging body, let’s you talk through the crazy thoughts in your head about life, laughs with you…let’s you practice vulnerability so that you’re better at it when it matters most.

In the last few years, I’ve felt the lack of those friendships and I’ve been intentional about changing it. I’ve worked to foster a couple friendships and those people are my tribe. So if I have those people, why am I still thinking about it? Because this life phase seems to need more support from my tribe. Maybe that’s just because I didn’t realize how important it could be in those earlier years, but I can sense the need to support and have support from other women at this time in life.

That’s the takeaway from all this…this obviously tangled mess of thoughts that have been rolling around in my head? We’re not made to do this life on our own. We need  our family, and we need our people, our tribe. The support and encouragement we give each other makes us stronger. Talking through the crazy helps us stay sane. Vulnerability is worth it. Find your tribe, lean into it, and be thankful for it today.