Tag: #itmakesmehappy

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Doing my best

Paddle Board

I’ve been thinking about how I sometimes choose not to do something because I don’t know how, or I think I’ll look stupid.  This weekend though, I tried two new things just because I thought they sounded fun.  First, I’ve been doing free classes at Athleta and this week was a barre class. I’ve never done it, but it was a lot of fun, even if I couldn’t point both my toes.  But today’s adventure topped it all, seriously.  I went paddle boarding for the first time, but not just straight up paddle boarding, I thought, hey, let’s try  paddle board  yoga, and I’m hooked!

In the past, I’ve aced myself out of paddle boarding because I can’t get my prosthetic leg wet.  But earlier this week when I got the email from REI advertising their class, I stepped outside my comfort zone and signed up.  I have spare legs (I know that sounds weird, but I do, a couple of them), so I wore the oldest one today and figured if it got wet, I didn’t care.  It was the most peaceful, challenging, relaxing experience!  Being on the paddle board made me stay focused and that helped keep my mind still – which is hard with all the randomness that roams around in it.  There were geese, an osprey, and an otter that came to check me out in my plow pose.  I’m so happy that I ignored my second-guessing and just went for it, to think I’ve missed out on paddle boarding all this time!

So it also has me thinking about the expectations we bring with us when we consider doing anything new.  I’m learning that if I show up and do my best, that’s all that matters.  It doesn’t matter if my friend is better, is doesn’t matter if I fall in the water.  What does matter, and what gives me energy, is being outside, showing up, and knowing that I did the best I could.  That was today.

I saw a great movie last night, Eddie the Eagle, which drove home this point.  First let me say that I love the sports underdog movie, I’m a sucker for them.  Rudy, Miracle, I could keep going but you get the picture. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a true story about an Englishman in the 80’s who wanted to go to the Olympics.  He was not athletic, but didn’t care.  Everything he tried he did the best he could.  Eventually, he made it to the Olympics in Lake Placid as a ski jumper.  He came in last but was so excited fans embraced him.  At one point, “The Flying Fish,” Chris Fischetti, who was the top guy in the sport, told Eddie that they were the same.  They both showed up and did their best, no matter that they placed vastly differently, they were the same.

I just love that.  I love the idea that if you do your best you’re at the top of whatever it is you’re doing, whatever it is you’re pursuing.  I think if more people could embrace that thought, instead of the self-imposed expectation that results in comparing ourselves to other people or what we think is “ideal,” we’ve find ourselves a lot happier and actually doing things we might not have otherwise tried.

Just do my best.  That’s all God expects, that’s all I should expect.  Look how it turned out today…I’m feeling “filled up” inside, motivated as I go into my week, and thankful for the joy today brought me.

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Oh the things we say

What if you really said all the things that were really in your head?  I had a conversation with a friend about this today.  Sometimes, I play out entire conversations in my head.  I’m witty, funny, brave, strong, forceful, all things I wish I would really be in conversations.  Other days though, I’m maybe a little catty, snarky, mean, but these are things I would never say in a conversation.  Why? Well a) I HATE conflict – I’m sorry is there not a stronger way to say that? Hate, hate, hate… turns my stomach…avoid it in my personal life a LOT; b) Reeeealy want to be seen as a nice person; c) it’s not kind or nice; and maybe more importantly, d)no good would come from it and I’d feel bad about it later. Ok, but these things I shouldn’t say are funny sometimes, but if there at someone else’s expense, I probably shouldn’t even be thinking it, much less saying out loud.

Do you ever have those days when you say something and have to follow up with “was that in my out loud voice?” for something that belonged in your head?  Yeah, that happens.  And sometimes because I process a lot out loud, I lose track and then the stream of consciousness continues when I didn’t mean it to, oh geezzzzz.

I know some people who think you should always say what’s on your mind, at the exact time you’re thinking or feeling it.  Even if it rains on your happy parade.  Even if it makes you cry.  Even when it’s rude, or bad timing, or just plain mean.  I don’t get that.  That’s either no filter, young and full of it, a lot of things.

I also think some of the things that pop up in our heads about ourselves we shouldn’t say out loud.  No, I’m not actually an idiot for forgetting to turn off my iron, or losing my keys, or the glasses on my face. No, I’m not lazy because I chose a 5k today not a half marathon. I’m not a failure because I didn’t clean my house this week.  It’s hard to feel good if I’m always mean to myself.  Yep, same that is true for others is true for how we are to ourselves.

Alright, gotta get to my so what.  Think about those thoughts that run through your head.  About others, about you.  Hold yourself in check.  Speak truth, speak up, but speak kindly, lovingly, particularly to yourself.  Be your greatest fan because you are the voice in your head – choose to listen to the good one!

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Just start

That’s what I keep hearing in my head.  But I haven’t.  So much to plan, to figure out, to understand, all resulting in a bit fat nothing actually happening.  I’m sick of it.  Tired of being the uber responsible one who thinks through and plans for every possible pitfall, has a contingency for every possible risk, and who lets dreams go easily.  I’ve watched so many fall by the wayside because being responsible was so much more important than doing something I actually want to do.  Something that will actually make me happy (even though having a clean house makes me very happy, cleaning does not make me happy).  So I’m serious all the time.  I’ve heard it for years.  I look upset, unapproachable, just plain serious.  Honestly, it’s a huge drag.  But if I do what I like, what makes me happy, what will people think?

Well, it’s a new day.  I can’t control what other people think and really, that usually has more to do with them than me.  Other people’s expectations can be awesome, have driven me to many accomplishments, to be a better person, to success in some ways.  But I can’t live my life worrying about them all the time.  There’s still that place inside me that knows there is so much more I have to do, that God wants me to do.  So many more ways that I can live out my purpose. I can be an every better version of me.  I’m ready!  Now.  No more when….(fill in the blank) happens. I have so much in my head I want to say, to share, to do. So this is it.  This is the start.  Stay tuned Lisa.